WHY Can’t I have love

THe Plain truth is im not pretty im fat and ugly yet everyone in high school seemed to be nice to me once i dirty danced with all the men not caring. Now were all graduated and i’ve heard only from about 4 individuals who want to keep contact and one’s who harassed me when i said no i dont want him.

I crush hard and create emotional feelings that aren’t really there in my head. which creates more of a problem than a help. And then theres all the friends that i generate seem to be guys and not letting them close to me because i know ill place affection where its not supposed to be.

Its eating away at me No Bf/GF realationship(in all of my 18 years) am i hopeless i seem to be. at times like this i used to be able to write poetry. Which helped to lighten things up but im truely on my own now and lets face it who would want a insecure person who suffers emotionally and physically its absurd for anyone to give a bloody hell about me.

Why can’t i just have some one? The friends i make online seem to last for years theres one friend a guy no less and weve been friends for five years now and gone through a lot . but theres no romantic intrests and any i had about my classmates is gone because well they dont talk to me or give a damn.

HOw’d i come to this???