One Year Older

(This is the most recent piece in a project that begins here.)

— | – Why two?
— | — Hm?
— | – Wait, the two doesn’t mean anything.
— | – I don’t think so, no.
— | — OK that’s fine then.

Scrub forward
Pause
Examine
Scrub forward
Scrub forward

— | — I guess it is a pattern.
— | – I remember the initial instances, first here,
Scrub
— | – then here, there, there,
Scrub
— | – there again.
— | — What I’m suggesting is the time is significant.
Pause
— | – You’re very likely right.
— | — So then if you look here,

Scrub
I notice the difference between the sound of the rain on the ceramic tile roofs off the suburbs
The sound of the rain on the glass walls of the apartments
First there is no sound
It has to be very quiet

— | — Hang-on, I think that one’s mine.
— | – Hm?
— | — The one with,
Movement
— | – Ah right, sorry.
— | — No that’s OK, they’re almost the same except I didn’t get carrot.

— | – (inhale) because I didn’t understand anything, I mean I understood it but I didn’t know what it meant, as in how to make sense of it or to respond, make sense?
— | — Yeah. Yes. I think so. Language can be like that,
— | – But that’s the thing, I was taught these languages, all of them. I can speak them,
— | — Can you speak them, say, now?
Pause
— | – No.
Pause
— | – No I can’t. And now I don’t know if I was ever taught them or if I’ve just inserted the memory of being taught them because of how familiar they sounded… I really… really… thought,

An entry about it being bad for the eyes
Working in the dark with only the work as light
A work that lights itself
Then the work has life, and I, the operator, does not
The work makes me live, and when I stop working, I stop living
Etcetera
Scrub

— | – I don’t think any of it’s gone.
— | — Yeah?
— | – Nope. It’s all there, all of it.
— | — Does that mean, um, that you’re looking for it?
— | – I don’t think so.
Pause
— | – I don’t think so.
Pause
— | – I mean I haven’t. Looked for it, for any of it, ah, probably not since,

There’s this… movement
A movement?
Cultural movement?
Hm
So, in one part, time isn’t relevant
In another, it doesn’t exist
It definitely exists
It’s a very necessary and practical frame of reference
Reference implying measurement of some kind
Assessing
Gauging
If not often, nevertheless with regularity
Scrub
Another transient
Scrub
Scrub
Scrub back
Wiping back and forth to find it
Marked
Indexed perhaps
Perhaps on a list, but I don’t see the list

— | – This is when it’s working best.
— | — Hey?
— | – Right now, as it is. Look at it. Look at it form, change state from being nothing to having life. Regular, normal life, as if it always did.
— | — (single laugh) Some will tell you that’s indeed the case.
— | – Yeah I realise that, I realise it’s part of the… machinations… the evolution, the life cycle, the life itself, the…
— | — Breath of it.
— | – Yeah. Yes. Yes I like that.
— | — It’s freaken’ me out.
— | – What is?
— | — That I’m probably beginning to think like you.
— | – (single laugh)
— | — It’s inevitable I guess.
— | – But you don’t guess.
— | — No, I don’t.
— | – That’s a good thing.
— | — If you say so.

The farther back I go, the more evidence I find of them there
All of them
More and more
And the more time that passes, the more I see life crushing them out
Erasing them
Moving them farther and farther so I can be redeemed as a citizen of the country beneath whose authority I was born
I’m beginning to look like them
Talk like them
Understand their language
So there has to be a way to store it
There is
I know how I’m doing it
So I have to be able to make exceptions to ensure that it all lives
Keeps on living
Because it’s much more deserving than my citizenry contribution