Close, almost whispered

(This is the most recent piece in a project that begins here)

Close, almost whispered
— That’s the thing.
— Hm?
— I don’t, um,
Pause
Blink
— See,

He’s asleep
I don’t want him to wake up
And I do want him to wake up
I want to be asleep and I want him to wake me but I’m awake
Staring at what I can see
The hem at the neck of his t-shirt
Skin emerging from the edge of the fabric
Tiny hairs
The bump of the top vertebrae
I slowly push myself up
Look down on him from as far above the pillow as I can push myself
Expect him to wake but he doesn’t
Or already is
Waiting for me
Blink
Blink again
He’s inhaling through the nose
Exhaling
Ribcage expanding between the bed and the duvet
Compressing
Expanding
I lower myself again
Can still see him
See us
Lying together, fitted, one behind the other
The eyes of a woman staring at the neck of a man
I move my hand to his back, then ribs
Slowly down to the midriff just above the hips
Touch my nose to the hem
Nothing
Then the skin of the neck
Push
Press slightly
Withdraw to see if I can feel the tiny hairs brushing my nose
Press again
Nothing
Tilt the head back as my cheek makes a dry sound against the fabric of the pillow-slip
Touch my lips to his neck
Inhale
Exhale
Warm air coming back against my face
Close my eyes
Inhale
Exhale
I feel the muscles of his back draw
Wherever my body touches his, I feel it
His spine moves
I keep my head as still as I’m able
Lips bump once against his neck
Settles
Motionless with his neck still touching my lips
Then a deep exhale
Back into a slow rhythm
I wait
Eyes open
An unfocussed view filled with the colour of his hair
Open my mouth
Move
Touch my teeth to the skin about the vertebrae
Then I know he’s awake
I can see him from above
Eyes closed
Concentrating
I press slightly
Then begin to close my jaw
His mouth opens
I keep pressing
Eyes open
Inhale and hold
Press
Then aah quietly
His spine curls
Arm reaching back to wrap about me as he turns his body
Faces me
Closes his eyes again and settles down
His lips cradle one eyebrow
Press together
Release
I move, open my jaw again
Press my teeth to his chin
He gives a single, low laugh
Draws away
Then I feel his tongue on the skin at my cheekbone
After he draws away, the cold sensation where the saliva is left
His fingers find the edge of my singlet
Palm spread across my back
We move for a moment
Slowly and carefully arranging how we are to be entangled
I settle down with his bicep beneath my neck, head on the pillow
He says I’m up
I say I’m going to sleep
But it’s a lie

— What did he look like?
— Hm?
— The man.
She stares
— Like you.
Eyes still, unblinking
— And nothing like you.
In the darkness they can see nothing
The two discs of the Beast’s eyes gliding in the spaces beyond where they walk
Moving from place to place
Pausing
Lowering
Casting a pale glow against an object he lifts and perhaps examines
Sets down again
Disappearing when he faces away from them