The sun in the day

I haven’t been this well in so long
It’s a strange place
Colours look like colours
Shapes
Textures
And I get it all back
I know better than to see it coming together
After a while you get used to it
Take the joys when you get them
And wait
Wait to go back down
To where the ghosts are waiting to welcome
Where I lose myself and everyone else
Try again to carry as much of this light as I can
Back down with me
Before it flies away like a fragmenting cloud
Down there nothing is precious
Up here everything is precious
I’m overwhelmed
Perhaps that’s how it is
Too much of this was killing me
I can’t say I dislike the down cycle any-more
There are things I lose
Many things
But what I gain is indescribable
Once upon a time I looked for light where it was dark
But now I find myself seeking mirrors in the daytime
Mirrors to reflect what I’ve found in those hidden places
Those places where there’s no-one
I wish I could show you
And in a way I do
I wish you understood