More self indulgence

Dimness
Room lit by the blue hue of the television
Click click at the electronic game
Processes of response, hand-eye co-ordination
Feedback loops
Shifting colours
The sound of lazy footsteps
Pause button
Turn
– Can’t sleep.
Shuffle shuffle shuffle
Weight heavily down into the couch
— I can stop.
– No don’t, it’s all right. I don’t want you to give me any attention, it’ll just keep me up.
— This will put you to sleep?
– What are you playing?
— Um, thingo…
Pause button
Click click
Shifting colours
– Oh yeah. Where are you up to?
— The forest.
Pause
– Nice.
— Are you sure? Do you want a cup of tea or something?
– No no. All good. Keep going. Just ignore me.
Click click
Shifting colours
– My god it’s so colourful.
Pause button
— I can play something else if you like.
– Dear you’re so nice to me. No it’s fine, keep going. Seriously.
Pause
— Do you want to talk?
Pause
– No.
Pause
– Yes.
Pause
– … No.
Pause
– Don’t look at me like that.
— You can’t see my face.
– I know what face you’re pulling right now. Stop it.
A laugh
– Don’t laugh at me.
— You want to talk.
– I do not.
— You want to talk to me.
– Don’t – you’re so wrong.
Pause
– I do not want to talk.
Pause
– Shut up.
— I didn’t say anything.
– I can hear you thinking.
A smile in the pale blue light
– You think too loud.
Turn around
— Can I sit up there?
– I don’t know, are you going to tease me?
— Yes.
Pause
– All-right.
Movement
Weight down into the sofa
— You brought your duvet.
Silence
— What do you want to talk about?
– You can’t just say that – ‘What do you want to talk about’.
— … how else…
– You just can’t.
Pause
– All-right?
Pause
– What?
Pause
– What now?
Pause
— My my.
– My my what?
— You are in a mood aren’t you?
– Yes. No.
— Stop doing that.
– What?
— Contradicting yourself.
– Oh shoosh, I’m allowed to.
— Oh?
– Yes.
Pause
Exhale
— Truly – what is it?
– Don’t do the serious voice now…
— God damnit already, is there anything I can do?
– Don’t laugh! Just that… serious voice makes me nervous.
— It does?
– Well… yeah.
Pause
— Why should you be nervous?
Pause
– … Because.
Sinking slowly into the couch, beneath the duvet
— Where are you going?
Muffled
– I’m hiding.
Pause
— Why?
Pause
— Why are you hiding?
Pause
– Hm mm.
Pause
Leaning forward and changing posture
Pressing against the duvet
Two bodies
Pulling at the cloth
A whisper
— Are you hiding from me?
Pause
Nod
— Why are you hiding from me?
Pause
– ‘Cos.
Pause
— You’re being very childish all of a sudden.
Pause
Nod
— Why are you being childish?
Pause
– ‘Cos.
— ‘Cos? Of me?
Pause
– Yes. It’s your fault.
— My fault?
Nod
— Well I’m very sorry.
Head shake
— I’m not sorry?
– Mmmmm!
— What then?
Pause
– Gnrnrnnn!
— You know what?
Pause
— I’m going to keep playing my game.
Duvet movement
– No no wait!
— Ah-ha! I got you out!
Holding the duvet
— Now you have to tell me.
Pause
Squirming
– Gnrgn!
— If you don’t tell me I’m going to sit back on the floor and pick up that controller.
– You’re mean.
— Am I just.
– You’re so mean. I hate you.
Pause
– Meanie.
Pause
— I know what it is.
– You do not.
— I so do.
– You do not!
Pause
– You do not and you’re mean and I hate you. I hate you so much just… don’t sit back down on the floor.
— Oh?
Head shake
— Lovely dear – is it such a big deal?
Pause
Nod
— Is it such a problem?
– For me? Yes. Yes it is. It’s a big problem.
Gentle laugh
– Don’t laugh at me I said. You’re so mean.
— Sorry.
– You’re enjoying this aren’t you?
— A great deal.
– Meanie.
Pause
– What are we going to do?
Exhale
Serious voice
— Do you really want to know?
– Yes.

The kiss

Quietly against the cheek
– That’s not fair.
— I didn’t realise we were at war with each-other.
– We aren’t. And it’s still not fair.
— Do you want me to resume playing?
– Mmm! No, don’t go… don’t…