Despair

You know when I was sick
Right off the deep end
Sure it was hard
Or maybe that’s just a conceit of not being there any-more
How would I know now
Having the apparent consciousness that I have
But this pain
This despair

I loved you
I freely loved you
And you made me hate you
Even when I still love you I hate you

So this is what it’s truly like then
To feel this sadness and be fully aware of it
Being sick was one thing
But this is much worse