underneath

Leaning with my left shoulder against the wall
Body arching out
Left hand by my sternum with a glass of deep red
Right arm hanging down behind the slope of my side
Right hand lingering by the small of my back
Moderately loud music and the dim room before me
Minimal attire reclining against modern furniture
Laughter
Sexuality
The smoke of pheromones and veiled intentions

Then I taste his scent in the air
Hear his slow sliding footsteps behind me
Without looking back I know the neutral look on his face
Still and serene
and not nearly as innocent as he seems
I feel his closeness
Left hand on my left shoulder-blade
Right hand falling into my own
I lean back ever so slightly and feel his nose on the nape of my neck
Quietly he speaks
– You know I don’t want to fuck you
– But you’re a beautiful boy
I spread the fingers of my right hand
Holding him for a moment there
He kisses my skin and I blink once slowly

He takes a step sideways
Walks gracefully like a well fed cat into the room without turning around to look at me
I give the slightest of smiles at his back and I know he feels it
Somehow in this constant ballet of social chatter I sense movement
The eyes of a woman over her own glass of red
I return her gaze and she lifts her brows
Lets them slowly down and gets up
Walks towards me and stops a breath away
We clink glasses and she speaks low
– If there was any more sex in your eyes I’d start hyperventilating.
– Is that so.
and her muscles flex because she thinks I’m being tart
Then she looks up at me and stills
– Yes?
– I could lose myself in your look.
My mind is still in the space between the couches where he sits and the wall where we stand
– My eyes?
– No your look.
I know what she’s like when she flirts and plays
This isn’t it
– Want to go?
– Where?
– Bed. she says
– No.
Her eyes break our stare but otherwise she doesn’t move
I bring my right hand to the front of my right hip
– But I do want to go,
She looks at me again
– With you.
Her eyebrows again and the another slight smile
– Romance gorgeous boy?
I lift my right hand and offer it palm-up
She sways toward me and places her left hand in it
Cool skin and firm muscles
– Make me one of your wonderful coffees.
I nod once
We drink the last of our wine