how to live forever

– hey do you remember Hong-Kong?
– which time?
– new year’s
– which time?
– um,
(pause)
– that time we made the duck, i think it was the first new year’s
(pause)
– first time i thought it was veg lasagna
(pause)
– did we?
(pause)
– i don’t know
– i think you’re right
– yeah because Vee made that chocolate self-saucing pudding the second time
– yeah yeah
– which we ate like, two hours later
– well she made it later because we were so full
– yeah
(pause)
– we should try that again
– it was nice that duck – i mean, i don’t know where you can get real duck these days
– i think there were some in Valencia
(pause)
– hey it stopped raining
– hm
(pause)
– you remember Kyoto was going mad because she ran out of coffee
– yeah
– so we were like, out on the streets all night looking for somewhere that sold decent beans
– man – for like, six hours
– that was great
– we find the… the tiniest place down ten laneways, there’s no light whatsoever
(pause)
– that was good coffee
– it was
– you remember walking in? and Kyoto’s just about climbing up the walls
– yeah she’s all ‘i’m not an addict goddamnit but i need a fucking coffee right now’
– you’re being all sarcastic
– she’s throwing cushions and print Media and shit at me
– and Venice walks in and he’s just standing there
– she looks at him and i swear she was about to cry, he comes over and takes the beans, he says real quietly
‘thanks guys’
– goes and makes her a coffee, but in the one-cup you know, because no-one else can have one before her
– that’s about one of the only times she didn’t make her own coffee
– … i think you’re right
– but gee it was good
– indeed it was

– you know, while we were on Inverse, that time in Helsinki – she cut my hair
– i think i was asleep for that
– i mean, it was great – we were just up talking you know, letting the processes run on the rigs
– the Gothenburg burn?
– yeah – it’s 5 in the morning and i say… i need a hair-cut
(pause)
– Kyoto says
‘i can do it.’
‘really?’
‘yeah sure i mean, i haven’t done it in ages, but um, should be alright.’
–
‘really?’
‘why is that so strange?’
‘i don’t know i mean, when would you ever have the time to learn to cut hair?’
‘well you know, in my teenage years… early… teenage years – i wanted to be a hairdresser.’
–
‘bullshit.’
‘nope.’
–
‘for real?’
‘it was one of my brief periods of denial – i wanted a salon and two, three other girls, somewhere small but exclusive, in Boston or Naples… somewhere like that.’
–
‘i can’t believe it.’
‘why not?’
‘i mean i just – because – i mean, i never wanted to do anything else.’
‘yes but that’s because you’re a boy.’
‘i really don’t think that has much to do with it.’
‘it did to my mother, so you know – i thought about what i could do… for a normal life.’
‘god – i shudder to imagine.’
(pause)
‘i mean – what could we do? what could i – possibly do?’
‘easy – chef.’
‘what?’
‘you and Durban both, you’d make great chefs.’
‘but for a living?’
‘sure – open up a restaurant together…’
‘haha – yeah right.’
‘get Vitoria to manage it for you, you know – functions, events – catering.’
‘my god.’
‘we could you know, become professional writers or reviewers and – come and review your cuisine.’
‘oh really.’
‘yeah and you could have business cards for my salon up on your counter.’
‘hahaha.’
–
‘of-course, i don’t know what Auckland and Venice would do. or Seoul.’
‘Venice could write.’
‘hm.’
‘he should write now, i mean he’s just – he has a way you know? like he can talk about code and stuff, but – like you guys don’t talk about code so much.’
‘oh we do, just… not like we used to i suppose. we used to talk about it as much as you, but things change.’
‘like you and Venice. you’ve changed.’
‘hm. is it that noticeable?’
‘i don’t think i’ve seen you this happy before Kyoto.’
‘hmmm. thanks. i like it.’
–
‘i like feeling this happy.’
–
‘it’s right.’
(pause)
‘so do you want me to cut your hair?’
‘do you even have scissors?’
‘of-course. i always keep a pair packed just in-case.’
‘hair scissors? for what?’
‘things like split ends. and you know, sometimes i trim Seoul’s hair as she doesn’t really pay much attention to it most of the time. come-on, it’ll be fine.’
‘yeah – sure. let’s do it.’

– she cut your hair in Finland?
– well – yeah i mean, where was i going to get my hair cut at 5 in the morning?
(pause)
– hmm that was good. your hair looked good. she did a really good job
– so how did you think my hair got cut?
– hey, in the Abenobashi i got my hair cut at two in the morning so stranger things have happened
– Japan’s different though Durban
– yeah
(pause)
– i miss her Moscow. i mean, i miss – missed you too you know, and we’ll probably see the others at some point
–
– but i really miss her
– i miss her too Durban
– we never really talked about it you know? i think we were in too much shock
– hm
– to be honest, i think not a day’s gone past these years that i wasn’t in shock
– it doesn’t show
– well i mean, i bet you’re the same though – when you’re at the restaurant, or when you do things during the day, you fight it back so that it doesn’t upset you
– i know what you mean
– but when you go to bed every night, you think – i think – it shouldn’t have happened
–
– it just shouldn’t have happened
– yeah
– i really miss her. and everyone. and this whole thing is so fucked up. it’s still fucked up
– yeah
–
– i don’t know how we’re going to unfuck it Moscow
– neither do i

– is this it?
(pause)
– that one with the glass front?
– i think so – yeah, yeah it is
(pause)
– i don’t want to go in there
– what do you mean
– i don’t think i can handle being happy and afraid all at once
(pause)
– we don’t have to you know. we can walk away, no-one would blame us, it isn’t selfish
(pause)
– and where would we go?
(pause)
– what would we do?
(pause)
– we go into that apartment, we’re committed. that’s it. we’re in
(pause)

– let’s get out of this damn limousine
– yeah