03/28/2012
Nothing matters
My life is not th ewa i wnted it to be. I don’t have the will inside anymore to caaare. I don’t have the will to tr.y My spirit is broken. I’m empty inside. I feel permanently defeated. Permanently meanignglelslasssss.
If ther’es a rock bottom, I may have finally hit it. I’m just tired. So very tired. Of everythiinggasg.asdg. I just want to lay down and die already. Call it mercy.
bruce, i don’t like to hear this type of stuff. you need some kind of a change. you’re a great person with a lot of wonderful talents and countless good things going for you. i wish you wrote more often so i could really understand what you’re going through, but since you don’t the most i can do is tell you that you don’t deserve to feel so ****ty about life or yourself. seriously. you’re awesome
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and i know it can be hard to convince yourself of that when you’re down in a pit or a rut, but just hold out hope. things change. part of the change involves being ready and open to the change. if you aren’t willing and ready for new things in your soul and heart then it won’t happen. and if all of this is still revolving around that girl, well, i’ll never understand what type of a relationship
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you two had, it was special to you, it meant so much to you, but it’s over, and she has proven to not be the greatest person in the world. it might be hard to move on from it but it has to happen or you’re going to destroy yourself. what good is hanging on to someone that isn’t even there for you? who doesn’t even care? who has been so completely selfish with your feelings that you have been
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driven to the point of believing that you are worthless? i just don’t get it, man. you are wonderful, and if you ever need to shoot the **** you have my number. and my facebook. it hurts my soul to think of you feeling with way, it really genuinely does. biggest hug ever. (in the history of the internet)
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on another note, when the hell did OD start censoring words like **** or **** or balls with stupid astericks? i liked it better when it reminded me with a system error and i could just pop a cheat code in. ****. ****. balls.
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you’ll never know the terrible words i just said!
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oh it doesn’t edit balls. that’s good, because that is a great word, and i suppose not really all that insulting. balls balls balls <3<3<3
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ryn: I tired what you suggested & it didn’t work…But I did go into the source part and take out everything from where my entry ended & a load of html still continued & got rid of all the extra html & that fixed it. But thanks for trying.
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