12/28/2011

Where to begin, where to begin,

I’m up at my parent’s house for Christmas. It was nice. I
got a nice GPS system for my car.

My last day at my old job came and went – my contract
ended. My very first day of unemployment my agent
called to set me up with an interview with another
company in Panama City. I went to the interview really
not even trying – they wanted a Java programmer and
I’ve never done Java. At all. Just C/C++/C#.

Then I went home after the interview and got a call
from Orlando – EA Sports wanted to set up an interview
with me. I was so excited! But they couldn’t see me
until January 3rd at the earliest. Which sucked. I
accepted to have an interview set up.

THEN I got a call from the company I had just finished
interviewing with… They wanted to hire me! And I don’t
even know Java!

So I had to choose between a guaranteed job, and a shot
at getting my foot in my dream industry.

Which sucked. So I went with the safe bet (for now), and
accepted the Java job. So now I’m teaching myself Java.

But dammit. I want a game dev. job so bad.

That also means I was unemployed for a grand total of 1
day. It’s nice to be sought after. I just wish EA Sports
was less of a gamble. But I’m competing with a lot of
programmers for such a job.

After my contract with this job ends, I’m only going to
interview with Game Development companies; no more serious
software shit. My degree and passion lies in game development.

I’ve been really angry towards women lately. Mostly Nicki.
I can’t stand the fact that she’s happy with some new
boyfriend after treating me like shit the way she has.
It just boils my blood and I don’t deal with it very well.
It’s eating me from the inside.

Am I just invisible? Do I just reek of shit or something?
WHY DON’T I MEAN ANYTHING TO THIS WOMAN??

Is it wrong that I want her to be hurt so bad by her new
boyfriend? I want, just once, just one little time, for
HER to be the one who gets hurt.

Her boyfriend posted on Facebook “I have an incredible
girlfriend that means everything to me. She has inspired
me to great lengths and I couldn’t possibly be happier.
Everything I ever do is dedicated to you. I love
you, Nicki.”

YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT, PAL. And you don’t know what
love is. God. It’s like I hope they both get mangled
horribly. When he was BALLS DEEP in his last girlfriend,
and the one before that, I was in love with Nicki. When
he is balls deep in whoever his NEXT girlfriend will be,
I will probably still be in love with Nicki.

I loved her first, I’ve loved her longer, and I love her
more. And I’ll be around long after he’s gone. FUCK HIM.

My heart aches.

And I don’t know what’s with Mona (Roomie ex). She’s
been acting weird around me. It could very well just
be my imagination. After all…

That describes me perfectly. I usually blow things
up to far more than they are.

I got her a Christmas present she really liked though.
Her favorite game is Taboo, it became public knowledge
after Mona, her sister, her sister’s b/f and I all
played it. She loves that game. And she doesn’t own
it. So I got her it for her birthday.

In return, she got me 5 free large pizza coupons. w00t.
I’m quite happy about that as well.

I hope something, anything, gets better in my life
within the next 6 months. I can’t take this.