Hilarious

I love hilarious chat conversations. 90% of these funny snippets are hilarious mostly because of a typo or something like that. Some are just really funny stories. This is just a bunch of funny chat snippets. I seperated them with Line breaks.

Fireslide: next person to talk after his line will be kicked 🙂
Fireslide: *this
* Fireslide was kicked by Fireslide (12‹61912›)

Sabdo: on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic.
Sabdo: and it typed out “France”
Sabdo: we were like, wtf?

BigBurk: God i really cant stand windows me
Felacio: heh i know. i moved to win2k
* Felacio sucks huge cock
Felacio: errr ME, not /me

Primus521: hey dude the funniest thing happened to me today
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, “the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?”
Primus521: lol
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face
Primus521: omfg
Primus521: til the day i die
Primus521: i will never forget it

Cyan: Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it’s like right beside the window so I heard the faggot.
Cyan: Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the fucking shit out of him.
Cyan: So he’s laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he fucking had:
Cyan: 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to “Monopoly.”
dan: Dude, you fucking killed McGuyver!

Sigurd: a sprite is anything not static
SRElysian: a sprite is a variable object
SRElysian: be it 2d or 3d
TorMuck: a sprite is a fucking soda
TorMuck: you god damn geekass bastards

@Terror: “It’s easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield.”
@cky: opposite over hypotenuse
@cky: dipshit

anamexis: oh man
anamexis: I was opening a coke, right
— Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
anamexis: and it exploded
anamexis: ALMOST all over my keyboard
anamexis: but I got it away just in time
— Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
anamexis: :-<

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you’re a great guy, but I don’t like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we’re going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

* ab is away – gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it’s bm
being an asshole –
ab: HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
Abstruse: !kjv numbers 22:21
Word_of_God: Numbers 22:21 — And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. – (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
Abstruse: I know I’m never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that…

Th3No0b: Im going to be the next hitler
Th3No0b: Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
RageAgainsttheAmish: why the clown
Th3No0b: See? no one cares about the jews
RageAgainsttheAmish: lmao

kow`: “There are 10 types of people in the world… those who understand binary and those who don’t.”
SpaceRain: That’s only 2 types of people, kow.
SpaceRain: STUPID

Sonium: someone speak python here?
lucky: HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
lucky: SSSSS
Sonium:: …the programming language

VolteFace`: don’t you hate it when you shit on the floor, and you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it
peng: …
peng: what?
VolteFace`: oh shit
VolteFace`: don’t you hate it when you DROP shit

cassius_clay13: so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
cassius_clay13:well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
cassius_clay13:so i helped him walk to the toilet
cassius_clay13: all the stalls were occupied
emoti_conartist: lol
cassius_clay13: bryan is a rugby player… so a big guy
cassius_clay13: so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
cassius_clay13: and there’s this guy in there taking a shit
emoti_conartist: hahahahahaha
cassius_clay13: and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
cassius_clay13: then (this is genius) bryan thinks ‘oh shit… if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i’d want to fuck him up… so i’d better hit him first’
cassius_clay13: so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
cassius_clay13: and runs away
cassius_clay13: imagine being that guy… WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

Sui88: 67% of girls are stupid
V-girl: i belong with the other 13%

@David: Yay I get laid today! Been a month…. needing it by now
@Sony: ………..
@Sony: TMI TMI TMI
@David: Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
Malpine: Thanks for the info
@David: eh?
@David: damn i meant PAID
@David: I get PAID today
@David: dammit

samsim: I heard about this guy who broke into a lion’s den at the zoo
samsim: and got mauled
samsim: and people were talking about how there should have been better defences put up to prevent people getting into the cage
samsim: a friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent
samsim: for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in