Laundry Detergent? Uh huh.

Uggggh.

It is 0230 in the morning. I am dead tired but I have to type this shit out before I forget it. Although I doubt I can forget this.

I got a knock on my door at like 0150. I get up, throw on a decent shirt, put on my glasses, and go open the outside door. 2 NCO’s I don’t know in uniform and some person in civilians are standing outside my barracks. One of the NCO then says:

“Sorry to bother you, I’m the NCO on courtesy patrol, but we need to know if you know who this person is.“

I’m just kinda staring blankly at them all.

“I need you to tell me if you have ever seen this person before in your life or if you know who this is.“

So I look at the dude in civilians. Never seen him before in my life. So I told them

“Don’t know him.“

He asked “You don’t know him, does he look at all familiar?“

I replied, “Never seen him before.“

He then tells me “There’s something you need to know then, sir. This guy was CAUGHT trying to break into one of the rooms of your barracks. The corner window of the back room. (Justin’s old room) At first he said he lived here, and then his story changed to ‘he knew someone who live—“

And then the perpetrator interrupted:

“I do know someone who lives here. His name is Clay.“

Now being wide awake and somewhat pissed, I replied: “There’s no Clay living in these barracks.“

He replied “Yes there is, Clay *some strange last name*“

I repeated “No, there isn’t. I live here. I think I would know who lives in this barracks.“

The NCO then said “Alright. That’s all I needed to know. Thank you, we’ll take it from here.“

So I go and check out Justin’s old room. One of my TV’s in here for storage. Along with a tough box full of BDUs and boot leg DVD’s. Nothing’s missing. Good.

So I lay in my bed, and I am listening to the NCO’s chew this guy out left and right through the wall. They were standing on the sidewalk outside my barracks.

And then it got even more interesting.

“Empty your pockets, soldier, right now, and lay down on the sidewalk!“

*The soldier complains and refuses to comply, the command is repeated like 50 times. I start to get pissed that this is happening on the other side of my room. Eventually he complies*

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SOLDIER?“

“It’s laundry detergent…“

“BULLSHIT, THIS IS CRACK. YOU’RE A FUCKING DRUGGIE, AREN’T YOU SOLDIER?“

I’m back up out of bed and peering through my window blinds. Sure enough, there’s the soldier holding a bag of what looks like laundry detergent. The NCO just chews the fuck out of this soldier. Apparently he’s stealing for money or was going to. From me!!!

I don’t have a problem with drugs. They’re cool. They do neat shit with your brain. But when you start stealing for drug money… you have a problem. And when you start stealing from ME for drug money… you have a death wish.

This shit is still going on outside right now. I am still listening to it. The MPs have been called and they’re here now, asking him a billion questions. I’m definetly listening in.

I think had he broken into my barracks, he coulda unlocked Justin’s door, unlocked my front door, and simply walked out the front with my stuff. And I would have never woke up.

~Bruce