Subway

So I waltzed into a Subway, and it was pretty fricking empty. Except there was this really hot beautiful chick (Trying to get in the habbit of using that word) eating there. And before I can even get to the line she says to me “Before you even order, they are out of wheat bread, meatballs, tuna, and salami.”

In my mind I thought “Damn. That’s a lot of good shit they’re missing… oh well.” But then I look down at what she’s got and she’s got a damn Meatball sub. So I told her “Yea they’re out of that stuff because you ate all the last stuff, didn’t you!?”

And she started laughing and said “Mmmmmaybe just the meatballs.”

And I replied “Uh huh. </disbelief>”

And she cheesed and said “I’m serious!”

And I replied “Uh huh. </disbelief>”

And then she said “Well what did you plan on having?” and being the smartass that I am, I smiled and said…

“Oh just a foot long wheat bread salami meatball, with a bit of tuna. But I guess that’s just not gonna happen now!!”

And she quipped back “Whatever!”

And I continued on “Y’know I was warned about people like you.”

And she laughed. Apparently I can be funny because she then said “You’re funny.”

and I said “Yea, I get that sometimes.”

And then we had like that awkward silence. Heh. Apparently I froze up or something. I coulda kept it up but in my mind I had like one of those Doug Funny imagination things y’know. My imagination went something like this:

———-

I’d still be talking to her. She’d still be laughing and cheesing. Then I’d go to ask her for a phone number or email and she’d say

“WHAT! You want MY phone number? HAHAHAHA. Oh wow. What a nerd!”

Then she’d call up her friend and be like “You’ll never guess what happened, some NERD just asked for my phone number!”

And then I’d hear both her and the person on the phone laughing at me. And then she would say

“HEY EVERYBODY IN SUBWAY, THIS NERD JUST ASKED FOR MY PHONE NUMBER”

And then everybody in Subway (because Subway would suddenly become crowded) would all stop what they are doing, point at poor old me, and laugh.

And then a guy would come up to the drive-through and be like “What the heck is going on in there” and the Subway employee would be like “Some nerd asked for that beautiful girl’s number. Hahahaha!”

And then the drive-through would start laughing at me, along with the Subway, the friend on the phone, and the girl.

And then it would do the Doug Funny fade-out.

————-

So instead I just politely told her to have a nice day, ordered my limited meal due to all those terrible shortages, and left. =)

It’s funny being a guy sometimes. Just thought I’d share with you ladies my thought process.

~Bruce

***EDIT***

I actually had to edit this entry because I seem to have left out a part of the conversation we had. I had forgotten about the “I was warned about people like you” comment that I said.