Some men suck

Well, there goes another person to hang out with. I thought that we had gotten really close. I wasn’t clingy, he wanted to hang out with me and made the effort, taught me how to play the guitar, we had a grand old time. But then I found out that he had sex with someone recently. We’ve been having sex every weekend. While I am jealous, the problem is that he promised he would tell me if he had sex with someone else. I found out because someone else asked him about her and he admitted it. Why make a promise if you can’t keep it? And you guys will think "of course he wouldn’t tell you", but he told me every time he cheated back when we were actually together. So now he can’t tell me when he promises to when we’re just good friends having sex?

So, I acted normal all night, made jokes, had a good time. But when it came time to go back to his place I told him I was just going home. He was obviously angry and confused because I was going to stay the night and we were going to go wandering around, go to an Asian store and all that. He had no idea I was angry until possibly at this point. Even though when he admitted having sex with her I had said, "You told me you’d tell me if you had sex with someone else." So, he should know. I acted upset for maybe five minutes, but he knows me, he knows that kind of stuff would upset me. He promised, he didn’t keep his word, so he essentially lied to me.

Also, this girl he had sex with had had sex with a guy I have heard to be a man whore. So she might have an STD from him, Mike may have gotten it from her, and I may have from him. He didn’t tell me about her, I didn’t get to choose whether or not I wanted to have sex with him considering her. The last time I heard I was the last person he had slept with in three months.

When I asked when it happened he was like "you an investigator? It was a couple of weeks ago." So, he had time to tell me. We had sex four days ago at the time (This all happened last night). We saw each other three days before. He had time to tell me.

I thought we had gained a friendship that he actually respected. He acted like he really enjoyed my company outside of sex. I can’t do this anymore. Him not telling me makes me think of all the other lies, the other women. He’s slept with so many women and yet has no disease. How many you may wonder? He lost count at 50. He doesn’t have anything because he tends to go for girls who have been with like one guy. Until this recent girl that had sex with another man whore that was worse than Mike and slept with anything, a new girl every week.

So I drove two hours home because I couldn’t be around him. He hasn’t tried to talk to me to try and find out what is wrong. He probably doesn’t care. He probably thinks I’m either dramatic, he brushed it off, or he thinks I wasted his time.

I deserve better. I deserve someone who will care about how I feel in regards to something they do. Who will keep promises and not make me find out things from other people…I deserve someone who just wants to be with me. Why is it that I enjoy his friendship so much, that that’s what is hard about this? I’m not worried about the relationship. I’m going to miss hanging out and going places with him. I had fun. And I have so few people to hang out with because all of my friends have moved far away and now I can only talk to them via phone. Now I feel like I can’t hang out with him, at least until he says sorry, and he won’t. So now I just have Amanda.

I appreciate him helping me through my depression about Trey. But this isn’t about him being a bad friend. This is about how he is when it comes to deeper relationship issues.

I need to make friends at school. It’s just hard because in class we’re all paying attention, and I don’t go to bars. High school was so much easier making friends.