A welcome home event

I had a sombering moment this weekend, that reminded me just how lucky I am to have such beautiful children who call me mommy. Things are bad yes, but nothing can remove the joy that my children bring me. 

I attended the local welcome home cermony for Vietnam Veterans this weekend with Travis, I say I went for him, but honestly, I needed to go for my own reasons. I was able to see the faces of men who a country used and then litterally spit on. Did you know nearly 3 million men and women served in Vietnam. Nearly 10% of their generation. Can you even imagine that? Those of you who are my age, can you? It was heart wrenching to see that it took the country 50 years to finally and formally welcome home these brave heros. Something that should have happened the moment they set foot on us soil.

I am so grateful for them. If it were not for them standing up for themselves and saying that how they were treated would never happen again I can only imagine where we would be. 

As I sat there listening the guy sitting next to me kept staring at us. I finally struck up a conversation. He told me how much he just wanted to hold Sirris. I of course let him. I know the healing powers babies have. He held him, and his face lit up. He told me he was in recon, he was wounded severe enough to lose all ability to have children. All he wanted was to know who his children could have been. 

As a result of his injuries he couldn’t sustain relationships, he hinted at there was nothing left to fix which leads me to beleive that a vital part of the relationship would be missing. I can only image what that does to a man. 

He gave him back to me, and tried to shrug it off. Tears were glistening in his eyes, my heart broke for him. How do I deserve such sacrfiice for my freedom? How do we all, and I know his story was only one of many in a sea of faces there that day. A stadium full of families changed, and lives altered. 

It concretes in my mind my desire to love veterans, and try and work with them the best I can. 

I encourgae you to when you know someone who has served to talk to them, show them compassion, and if they dont say anything, then just be still with them in their silence. I want to do more. 

As I left I offered to hug him, and he declined as if it were a pity hug. It wasn’t. I am not a hugger, but  I see the power it has to connect with people and reach there heart in a way that words simply can not. 

The event was much different for Travis, it was triggering and stressful. They had a jet fly over and it sent him swirling out. He did not make connections, and it makes me sad to know this. 

The rest of the weekend was, it was neither good nor bad. I want to say I saw hope, I want to say I saw something, but I am still waiitng for him to come back to who he was. But honestly looking at him, listening to him. I don’t know who he is, and the more I find out the more I realize, who this person is underneath I am just not compatable with. I am still left wondering if there is enough to hold onto. Are there enough pieces left to put this back together? I just don’tknow. 

I am weary, my soul is weary, my heart is weary, and my body is weary. I couldn’t manage to fall asleep without getting out some of these thoughts, they had to emerge before I could possibly try to fall into slumber… Now that they are out I am feeling calmer. 

And if you are still with me, Samara lost her first tooth this morning, At the age of 6.5! My baby girl is certainly growing up. I can’t even beleive it, I see Sirris and her and it is amazing how much children learn in such a short amount of time.