Doctor

You want to hear some good news? My b/p this morning was normalish. 

The other news? 

Well I went to the doctor, and she is convicned that I have fibromyalgia. I have all the symptoms of it. I have had it for a while. It just took some time for me to admit it. There is little we are going to be doing for it right now. I just tollerate it and hope it doesn’t get worse 

Anyways, it is something. At least it means I am not entirely crazy right? I mean I always have a headache, I always ache. 

The second thing is she said this spot on my stomach is not a strechmark.

It hurts and burns, I don’t know if you can tell from the picture, but it is like a crater in my skin and it is purplsih/black underneath it. It burns actually. It is the spot that hurt after I had Sabastian, but the crater wasn’t there, it is the spot that hurt a few years ago when they said I had the fat twiasted upon itself. 

I am supposed to see a dermotolgist, they wanted me to come in tomorrow, but obvioulsy I will be in Indy for Travis. The next appointment is over a month away. WHich I took, but they want me in sooner. Sigh. 

Anyways, I need to find someone who specializes in birth trauma, and soon. I am struggling more than I can audibly admit too. It isn’t like depression it is like panic. 

Tongiht I am supposed to have my caregiver support group but I think I will miss it because of Travis. I am burning out taking care of him. In fact I down right resent his inability to just pull himself together, I have so many needs that are unfufilled ahd he doens’t even know I have them. 

Tomorrow is Indy, at least is a change of scenery. 

I had a nice mothers day and I have Sirris’ well baby, but he is calling my name…. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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May 13, 2013

Good to hear about the b/p being better….hoping for the same here with my bride. Praying for this thing on your stomach….looks painful. 🙁

May 13, 2013

I am in the same boat. Me and you both stuggle to take care of our spouses while falling apart ourselves. It is a very elite and annoying club I’m afraid. *hugs* Love,

May 13, 2013

ryn: Agoraphobia and Double Depression. 3 of her 4 siblings have some form of anxiety and her Mom has a milder agoraphobia but also hasn’t worked in forever. It runs in their family really badly. 🙁

I am excited to meet you tomorrow! I know Sebastian has some special dietary needs, will you bring him snacks or anything he needs? I don’t want to give him anything that might upset his tummy!

May 13, 2013

ryn: Well actualy no, but she does have it. Her Mom was dx’d with that and Laura has it just as bad if not worse so we just assumed it’s the same for her. Her dx for SSA is just Agoraphobia. The reason we say she has DD as well is because she feels such depression, if it were not for me she would have killed herself a long time ago. She thinks about it often but says she couldn’t do that to mebecause she knows how it feels to lose someone. She lost her best friend when she was only 17 to the flu of all things. She is still grieving heavily so that doesn’t help.

Sounds good!

May 14, 2013

It doesn’t surprise me with the Fibromyalgia diagnosis as you and the kiddos have SPD. 🙁 Hope things start ti improve soon. xxxxxxxx

May 15, 2013

ryn: thanks but i think it could be thrush! some of the symptoms seem to have gone already!!xxx