8 weeks, Dances & Anniversaries *pics*

 I survived finals, well for the most part. I still have one incomplete to finish, but with the three classes that I have done I have A’s in all of them. It is a great feeling to know that with my upper level courses I can still get an A even while having a new born. Of course I have to say that if it were not for the graciousness of my professors and the school in general I wouldn’t have made it thus far. 

I can say that my 16 page paper I wrote got a 100% on it. I am proud of myself. 

I still have stats to finish, I need so much more help on it. Is anyone a math genius out there?

Sirris turned 8 weeks yesterday, he is getting so big and he is so strong. So so strong. I can’tbeleive it. We sat him in the bumbo yesterday and he sat up. He smiles and is begining to coo a bit as well! Score one for language devolpement. 

Samara’s BCBA made a statement that Sirris was so much like Samara. I began to panic to think oh no, is he showing signs of autism? Do I want any of my kiddos to have autism? Certainly not. If he does will I love him any less? Nope. I will love him and help him grow in any way possible. 

My anniversary was on Friday, I have been married 9 years. I wish I could say it was better, it wasn’t bad. It wasn’t fantastic eiher. It was more of a happy sigh, there is no fire, no passion. Even when we fight the passion is gone. Maybe, one day it will return. I miss him still you know that. I miss compannionship, I miss the friendship.I miss the love. He could chose to be better, I just wish he would chose it. 

That night he took Samara to thefather daughter dance. They went to dinner, and had fun. I am glad they went, both of them needed to get out of their comfort zones. 

She looked so pretty so grown up. I can’t beleive how big she has gotten.

 

I can’t get over how pretty she has become, and she is so funny and so smart. Her therapist said she has never worked with such an intellegent child before. 

 

On Saturday we went to Denny’s for lunch we ate there on our wedding day. Then we went to the drive-in and saw ironman 3

Yesterday, a wave of emotion came over me, and I struggled to pull myself out of bed. It was quiet a challange. Now that school is out everything from the past few months has hit me hard, and it taking time for me to sort them out in my own mind. I don’t want to go into it because it makes me sound like I am whining. But I at the moment I am struggling. Struggling to stay with my head above water. 

I am also struggling with Sabastian. Him and I do not have the same attachment that I have with the other kids. It is hard to explain it.

From here, we have been working with the va finally to help Travis. We see the surgeon on next Tuesday at the Indy VA. I am looking for someone to watch Sabastian here or there for theappointment, but it isn’t going well. 

We are working on getting things put together for the caregiver program as well. They will hopefully modify this house for him.

I will befine, ultimaltly I will be fine. I just need to allow myself the time to heal, recooperate, and move forward. This morning starts with catching up on the dvr. Mad Men & revolution… 

And with that I hear some Sirris screams 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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