That & This

 At the end of every pregnancy I feel very different it seems. This time is is no exception.

I haven’t been eating as much lately, and my mood is sullen maybe. I want to be close to home, with everything wrapped up into nice neat little packages. I want my kids close by. I don’t even want to send Samara to school. 

It isn’t like I am depressed or anxious, it is more like I have a strong need to peace and quiet. Things aren’t bothering me as much, except when there is comotion, or movement or noise. Then it bothers me. BUt when things are quiet and peaceful I feel peaceful. 

I have been contracting on and off for days now… As much as I am ready for them to turn to full labor, I am not. I don’t know. I just know the baby will come when the baby comes. Sometime in the next month or so he will be here. It is not in my hands. I don’t know when he will be born. It is so weird to me that people know when their child will be born. I am content that he will chose his birthday and his name, and that somethings are out of my control. It is a good lesson in patience for me. 

The only stressful thing in my life right now is Travis. He is working at Grissom ARB right now and it is 2 hours away. It means money, and money is good, but the distance gives me hesitation. I need to get him a full change of clothes for the hospital and put in my bag in case he shows up covered in work gunk. 

I am praying i go into labor on a Thursday or Friday so he has the weekend to be with me. Because as usual he won’t get any time off when I have this baby. Well he could opt for a lay off, but then he wouldn’t get paid nor could he file unemployment because it was optional or something crazy. 

It is snowing here, it has been for 2 days now and hasn’t stopped. It is supposed to subside here soon I hope. I have to get out and take Samara to speech. 

I kind of have to go out because I need to get the men of the house medicine. Plus if I am out I could take Samara to get Valentine’s day cards for school, and maybe get her a birthday present for the birthday party she is attending. 

Yesterday was my dads birthday, we had a small birthday party here. We ordered pizza and had a nice time. Even without making anything it was still a lot of cleaning and work. Especially considering my dishwasher died, and my washer and dryer are headed that way. (oh and the irs isn’t accepting our returns for another couple weeks, delaying our refund which I was hoping to use to replace these things.)

I should be cleaning or doing staistics, but I am zapped. Completely drained. 

No, no, I need to get up and do something. Even if it is just a shower. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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