School thoughts

 I am unsure about things right now, huge chnages are happening and I don’t like them. 

Samara and Travis insisted on going to Kindergarten. She starts MOnday. She has NO iep, no anything really. They said she will be fine. I am not so sure, I am anxious about it I feel sick. 

I don’t feel good about it. 

There is the whole she doens;t sleep thing, the whole she doesnt eat thing, the whole iep thing, the sutism thing, the sensory thing, the school in general thing, and the fact the class has 26 kids and 0 aides. Samara is used to and needs 1 on 1 direction. This can’t happen in a class this size.

I hate the idea, and everything. We are already clashing over things like vaccines ( I stopped because of the severe side effects she got amung other things), ieps, and automated calling which I do not consent too. I want the information but I want to access it when I need it not when they think I need it. They also wanted me to come in today to get her birth certificate, but I am waiting till I go monday. 

I keep thinking there has to be another way. There has to be a better way. There has to be an alternative to the public school, and the homeschool without sending my child to a catholic school? I have been thinking about what would it take to find like minded parents and start our own school. With teachers who aren’t bogged down by the state, and actually know their students, and where ieps don’t mater kids get what they need. Where they learn on their pace, and what intrests them most not what is on a test one day. Where the kids are just as important in the democracy of the school as the parents. 

How would I even start something like this? I can’t be the only parent who feels like I do. Who has a strong need to change what isn’t working. Could I do something or am I just stuck? Stuck with crappy options. 

So monday it all starts. She has to be there before 8. She doesn’t function before 11. She doesn’t dress herself, or eat or anything, and the crappiest part if even though it is Travis who signed her up it is me who has to deal with all the school crap, and all the fighting in the morning, and the dressing, and the eating. Me not him. He doesn’t do a damn thing but yell.

Did I mention that I am still tired? I am not sleeping lately. Between my legs and my intense dreams. I am not sleeping. I think I would be calmer if I was sleeping better.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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