On nursing struggles

 When Samara was a baby I loved nursing her. She was an easy nurser, it was joyful, and easy oh so easy.

Nursing another baby was one of the awesome things about having another one. I was so excited to be able to have another little one who would be able to grow and thrive on my milk. To have that bond with my child. 

Yet, like I am learning with all things with this little boy, it is not as easy as I had hoped. 

I have struggled from day one with him. 

My breasts hurt, always have. He clicks his tougne, he swallows too much air, and I have nipple damage from his mouth. 

I have tried to talk to everyone to find a solution for the pain, and the difficulties nursing. I have talked with a doctor, peditrcian, 3 Ot’s, 2 STs, LLL, and finally another lactation consultant. 

The lactation consultant finally told me this.

She is proud of me for making it this far, okay more like she is suprised I have made it this far. That I have done better than most moms without problems, that I should pump and feed it to him, or use a shield, or just wean him. That no one would blame me.

Ughhh… This is from a lactation consultant.

what is with this mentallity oh just pump. How many of you just can pump with ease? I can’t. 

Then the shield. It makes him angry, and then he bites me. 

She said that there is nothing we can do to correct his mouth, and wanted to know if I understood just how much therapy he will need in the future to help him properly talk, and eat.

She was less than encourging.

I will not wean him, not yet. It wasn’t his fault his mouth is different. He has a need to suck, wether from me or from something, and he can’t coordinate a bottle or pacifier. He is gaining so I suppose it will just continue to be as it is. I will wean him off the one side here soon. 

I am discouraged perhaps. I wanted/needed something more.