On New Ot’s & Bleak outlooks

 I am trying to give the new OT the benefit of the doubt but honestly I am not sure she is the right one for me. 

She made comments I am not comfortable with. Like asking if I was willing to switch to formula, or willing to pump and bottle feed only. She said she doesn’t like nursing when babies have feeding problems because she is a numbers gal and likes facts and the concrete. 

That all makes me feel uneasy. I am not weaning anytime soon. Seriously? Have you met me? I am an advocate of nursing, and it is what is best for my son. It isn’t even just the milk that is benefical but the close bond, the warmth of my body next to his, and the comfort he receives while nursing. It isn’t a simple mater of just eating. 

We are beginning to wonder if he has pallete problems. A highly arched palate fits perfectly with all the struggles in those areas. She looked and thinks it may be right. She is bringing tools next week for a full oral exam on him. 

Plus the concrete ideals she has? I am not okay with this. I mean I am not a concrete person. I am an impractical go with the flow type of person. I feel evidence and ideals are just as important as numbers and facts. 

Sigh…

Plus she made a statement that Sabastian is the worst sesnory child she has ever met. She has never seen a child so young who has so many regulation problems with basic things like eating and sleeping. She is not quiet sure how to help someone that young. She admited he is the youngest one she has and is a bit overwhelmed. 

Her words stung. A part of me had such high hopes for Sabastain to be nerotypical. Then once it was clear he isn’t then I always rationalized that he wasn’t that bad. A real part of me is sad. Its like mouring. Mourning what won’t be, and terrified of the furture. Samara may be high functioning, but I see so many who are not. I wonder if that will be us? Or will he learn to function in his body, and thrive? But statements like hers make the future seem less bright.

Sigh… 

My back and neck hurt substansially today… I wonder  why.