By the Numbers

 1 week of school done, it’s a joke, but it’s done. The whole 8 week class is only worth 360 points. Oh well.

My life is consumed with my children my week looks something like this. 

63 diaper changes

56 hours of nursing

50 hours of holding 

49 hours of sleep

21 meals for Samara

10 loads of laundry 4 of them diapers

8 hours of preschool

7 hours of driving Samara to appointments

7 doses of medication

6 baths

3-4 hours of therapy sessions

2 hours of online class

1 hour of ballet’

countless hugs and smiles and giggles and playing with the 2 sweetest little kiddos who call me mommy.

You know I love them, and i love to be home with them, I just need a friend. A friend who gets it. I need a partner in marriage… It will come I know it will. 

I am trying to slow down and enjoy it more. I am enjoying Sabastian in ways I never did with Samara. I take time in the moment now memorize the smiles on his precious little face, enjoy the warm of his little body, cherish the little hand that holds mine so well. 

Sabastian is rocking in his swing right now, Samara playing with Bonnie, and Travis is curled up on the couch with me watching Star Wars.

I am enjoying the peace, the job for another week, the time in my own house. I never saw my life like this, never dreamed it would be this way, and yet it’s wonderful. I was given the life I needed not the life I wanted. and sometimes what we need can be so much sweeter than what we thoguht we wanted.