Samara & 4 year old girls

 My birthday was pretty fantastic really! I enjoyed it, and thank you for all the well wishes. 

So Samara, my sweet little Samara…. 

We are struggling with her and her behaviors. 

She is getting so big, and so resistant to everything we do, and with her increasing size she is harder to control. I do not even know what to do wth her anymore. She is defiant, and then becomes out of control and violent even. 

Therapy has been no help. So I am doing what I should be doing. Switching therapist. Seeing if fresh eyes will bring new light.

Samara had been kicked out of preschool for the month. I was allowed to take her to her christmas party, as long as  I stayed with to control her bahvior. 

After what I saw I am not sure I will send her back.

It wasnt the teachers, who were patient and understanding. 

It wasn’t even her defiance, or even her countless meltdowns.

No it was the other little girls.

Having Samara apparently means I missed something on typical little girl devolpment. But did you know 4 year odls talk well? Well they do and did you know they are gossipy and mean just like grown women?  It makes me realize our kids are picking up on our behavior folks. They really are. 

I over heard the little girsl in the bathroom talking about her. Asking what’s wrong with her, and why is she different, and she’s just acting like a baby. 

My heart wanted to break in two pieces right there. 

Samara is still oblivious to the comments of the other kids. But she won’t be for long. You and I both know it too. 

I am debating not sending her back. She is begining to spend more time than not in trouble at school, and the fights to get her there is it worth it? I don’t know. 

I struggle with being her mom. I struggle with am I doing the right thing? I don’t know? I wish I had the gift of foresight. 

We will go forward, new OT today, and she just started a new ST which is going well. 

I just wish I could do more, help her understand better..