12.13.11

 I was looking in my closet at the nightgown I got for my birthday last year. It was silver satin trimmed in black lace. It laced up the front and the back and was stunning. This year I wore a nursing tank to bed. Not out of cuteness but nessescity. I could never nurse in the cute one, and I don’t want to ruin it with milk.

The contrast made me think, my how my life has changed in the past year.

In some regards this has been one of the longest years of my life. Pregnancy was rough on my spirit and even harder on my body.

And yet through all of it I Am celebrating this happiest of days with a new man in my life. My sweet little baby Sabastian. How could I not be in love with him? 

I also have seen what a difference a year makes with Samara, she is potty trained, and talks, and is so so so smart. I am so in love with her!

I am happy with my mommy life, it is pretty amazing. 

I do have a few goals. By my 30th birthday which just happens to be 12.13.14! By the time I am 30 I want my Bachelor’s degree! Working on my Masters. And you know what? if my health is well enough and I can find a good midwife I want another child. My family feels incomplete, and so I want 1 more…. I would love 2 more but I am feeling my age creep in on me, and with my spacing I am not sure I should do it.

I may have done life in a different order than some of those I know. I am 27 and still am in college (almost 10 years older than the freshmen) But I look around me, and I love my life. I love my family, I love my husband most days, I love my house and my van, I love that I have the means to go to school, I love that I have family close by. I have built a wonderful life and I wouldn’t trade it right now. I just want to keep moving forward, and I think that’s the most important part of it all. I feel like I am moving forward and I feel good about it.

I am happy today is my birthday, I love my birthday! 

And you want to know a secert, I really want spontaneous song and dance preformed in my honor.. Or a flash mob. and you know what everyone thinks I am joking. Well I am not. Seriously, I am not. I will be hurt if no one takes me serious and just tried. I don’t understand how anyone who knows me thinks I am joking. And Travis knows I want one but he thinks I am nuts… I have been asking for one for 10 years now, and it still hasn’t happened. 

Oh well, it will be a good day which will start with a cardiologist appointment, then lunch with my mom and then a nice dinner here with my family, and lets not forget BIRTHDAY PIE!!!!!! I am so excited about my birthday pie!