In need of..

 One of my favorites was writting about this the other day, and I can totally relate. I miss having friends. 

If you remeber I used to talk about the girlfriend. Well she is no longer in my life. I have no idea what happened ether. She just stopped talking to me, and delted me off facebook the weekend of my baby shower. No one knows why. I don’t know why.

I relaize now she brought me more stress than I needed. I always had to be more perfect than I am around her, and her child was an ill behaved brat most of the time, who was mean more often than not. Samara is calmer without her, but doesn’t understand why we don’t see her anymore. 

I miss her sometimes. I mean I miss having a friend, and she never even met Sabastian. But inevitably our parenting would have clashed with a baby. I am much crunchier than she is. (and that is not okay with her).

But without her I am in lack of a girlfriend of my own anymore. I have friends, but many of them are childless, and we don’t always have things in common, or even times of day in common.

I am in search of someone who can fufill the role of a friend in my life. Some one close, with kids, who maybe stays at home. Who has similar child rearing belifs, and is close. Most importantly I need someone who is a woman outside her children. I don’t want someone who is all about their kids. I love being a mom, but I am also Tami and I have other thoughts in my head. I want to discuss them…

In the meantime I am enjoying time with my mom, and her aides. I am also enjoying time with Bonnie, and I am fufilled by conversations I have with Charles, Tim, and Ed. I am also enjoying life with Samara she talks so well now. It is like it all just clicked and viola she can communicate. I am also enjoying little man althoguh he just stares at me… 

But I would love to have a freind of my own again. I don’t think it is a lot to ask.