Breathe *

So, Mr. Noah had his two month checkup today….he’s exactly two months old today, too, lol. He’s becoming quite the chunky monkey…he weighed in at 12 pounds even! That was the good and easy part….getting him weighed and measured.

Then comes the part when the doctor starts asking me about what he can do and if I have any concerns. And I mentioned that he’s had a few instances of breathing a little funny….so he spent a looooong time listening to Noah breathe.

Noah also has a tight neck, so we have to do these little exercises with him so that he stops favoring having his head in one direction, or he’s going to end up with a flat spot.

Then I talked with the lactation consultant for a few minutes, because ever since I started my pills, Noah’s been a little fussier and is wanting to eat more frequently….and when I’ve tried to pump, it’s been an effort to get much out, whereas before I could get an ounce out within seconds. Talked it over with Jake, and we decided that I’m going to stop taking my pills for a couple of weeks and see what happens. Can’t let anything jeapordize the milk supply!

And then….poke, poke, poke. Noah got his shots. I had to laugh at him, as horrible as that sounds…..but he was so calm and happy, and then POKE, and he got this look on his face like "HUH?!?!?!" and then just let loose with the wailing. But he calmed down pretty quickly and even took a brief nap, long enough for me to run over to Target for a few things.

But, the yucky part…..the doctor called me after we got home. Wanted us to go see a specialist, because he was a bit concerned about Noah’s breathing. Even called the specialist to see if they could get us in today. I didn’t want to go at first, because let’s face it, money’s tight enough as it is. But he effectively scared me into it.

So, off to the specialist we went. Aaaand….I have to take my baby boy to the hospital next week. And he’s going to get an IV with anesthesia. And then they’re going to stick a scope in him so they can see his airways.

God, we can’t afford this right now. But I don’t care….let the fucking bills pile up. I’ll sell everything we own if I have to…..I just need to know if my baby is ok. If he turns out to be just fine….well, yeah the bills will suck, but at least we’ll know. And if there’s something wrong….well…..at least we’ll have caught it early enough to treat it or whatever.

What REALLY sucks is, I can’t feed him for SIX HOURS before I take him in to the hospital. I can give him water, or apple juice, but no milk. I am NOT giving my two month old apple juice. I don’t really want to give him water, either, but maybe I’ll just try to push his bedtime back a little so he won’t wake up hungry.

Anyway. That’s what’s going on here.

So….we may not have the procedure done after all (a bronchoscopy, if you’re interested).

Lots of factors are weighing in to our decision.

1. We don’t feel that the specialist spent nearly enough time listening to Noah breathing before he said he’d schedule the bronchoscopy.

2. He doesn’t breathe funny all the time. It’s not even an every day thing. And when it is happening, it’s kinda like his breath is hitching a little, almost like he’s got a hiccup stuck in there or something.

3. A large part of his problem could just be due to him being congested. I still have to suck his nose out EVERY day.

4. I also had problems breathing as a baby. Why? Thanks to the dryer not being hooked up to a vent. Guess what? Our dryer isn’t hooked up to the vent, either – it was taking me THREE HOURS to dry one load of laundry, so we think the vent is clogged. And heck, we were never able to have it hooked up to the vent in any other house we’ve lived in, so it wasn’t a big deal for me and Jake. But I just have this nagging feeling that this could be a large part of what’s going on with Noah.

5. He’s only two months old….I REALLY don’t feel comfortable having him put under anesthesia and then having a scope put down his throat.

6. This is a very expensive procedure. Like, $3,000 expensive. And we’d be responsible for 15% of that. We already owe over $1,000 in medical bills.

So, we’re thinking of putting this off for a bit, to see if maybe there’s some changes we can make here at home that may make a difference.

Would that make us horrible parents?

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