dream like you’ll live forever

 

New song that I can’t seem to get out of my head. There is a part in the video where someone writes on the paper "I want my Marine home" and it almost makes me cry… just cause that hits close to home… I want my Soldier home. *sigh* But I shouldn’t complain, we have been so lucky for this to be our first deployment and it hasn’t even been a month yet so I shouldn’t complain. Ahhh it is such a good song. Makes me miss watching Chris play his guitar and sing to me… maybe when he gets home…

Today was intense. I did a 45min spin class and then a 30min body circuit class. OMG was my body hurting after all that. I’m down almost 8 pounds now… don’t know how long that will be the case. I get so frustrated because my body looks the same and I know that it will take time. I mean I’ve only gone to the gym 4 days so far lol. I can’t expect to see anything yet. I’m just impatient. I have this picture in my mind of what I used to look like before I had Nicholai and it isn’t anything like what I see now when I look in the mirror. I want so badly to get even close to what I looked like before Chris comes home, I want him to see me and be excited lol. I have my work cut out for me but once I get back from Jersey I’m going to join the gym and go 4 times a week. I don’t care what goes on… I’m going 4 times a week every week that I’m in NC. And maybe I will find a gym where I can pay monthly in Jersey so I can keep it up cause I don’t want to make 3 months of progress for it all to be for nothing from not working out for a month.

I can’t believe that it’s Friday already. I feel like it was just Monday and now here we are at Friday! Going to the gym really does make the days go by faster. Next week I have the gym Monday and Tuesday, then Kindermusik on Wednesday and then the gym on Thursday… and that will be the end of my 7 day pass from Jess. I would join but I think it would be a waste because I won’t have time to go cause I will be too busy getting ready for Jersey. I’ve been thinking about what I was going to do as far as the 7 hour drive and Nicholai. If I thought that I could stay awake I would drive through the night… but I don’t think I can do that safely by myself so I think I’m going to leave out of here ass early at like 4:30am…. go to bed at 10:30 when Nicholai goes down and then get up at 4:30 and pack the last things into the car, crate up Aurora and grab Nicholai and leave. If I’m on the road by 5am I should be able to make it to Jersey around 12-1pm and hopefully Nicholai’s sleep won’t be too messed up. He can just sleep in the car on the way there and then when we get there we don’t do a nap that day and then he will just go to bed. I hope that skipping a nap for a day won’t throw him off totally because I need for him to take a nap. It’s the only way I can get things done.

I have so much to do… but I’m running out of nap time and I need to study Magicka School I will try to write more later.