weekends are horrible

 

Double digit days! Yay….. finally some real time has gone by. It’s so much better looking at double digits then just one tiny number… but there is still a LONG way to go. I have a feeling that I won’t be getting nearly as much time to talk to Chris as I was. This week he should be ending up at his final destination and once there I don’t think he will have as much time or opportunity to talk. I don’t know how I feel about that…. fine I guess since I don’t have much choice.

I wonder what is on his mind? He doesn’t sound like my hubby when I talk to him on the phone… his voice sounds different. I know that he is tired and stressed so maybe that’s all it is. I think I’m just worried about this turning into the last deployment I went through… where Rob became a totally different person. I’m worried about his safety but I think I’m worried about him coming home the same man I married more. Ah… I just love the way my mind likes to over think EVERY little thing.

I have decided that I HATE the weekends. They suck without Chris. I wake up so excited thinking about how I get to spend a day with Chris without work and then I remember that he’s deployed and it sucks! I have a feeling that the weekends are going to drag on endlessly. That’s when that hollow feeling in my stomach is the worst. Ugh…. and I try not to think about it too much. But the first day, week and month are the time when you adjust and I’m still in that first month. I will be glad once that’s over with.

There are only 23 more days until I go to Jersey!!!! I have so much birthday stuff still to plan. I have to buy the rest of his supplies and once I get to Jersey I have to buy his presents. I’m going to the gym with a friend next week during the day. It will be the first time that I’ve left Nicholai with strangers…. and I’m kinda nervous about it. Nervous because I don’t know them and worried about how he will handle it. But if I’m going to go to the gym he needs to go to the daycare at the gym so I don’t have much choice since I don’t have anyone here to watch Nicholai.

I just stepped on the scale… I’m down 6 pounds now. I guess my body is still getting used to his deployment? It isn’t like I’m not eating…. I still eat 3 meals a day with a couple snacks so it isn’t for my lack of eating. I’ve been eating more healthy and I’ve been working out a tiny bit when I have a little time but I can’t believe that I’ve dropped so much weight in just 10 days. Not that I can see a difference in my body and losing the weight but still looking the same isn’t ok so I have to get my fat bum to the gym and start toning up lol.