the evil neverending countdown

And so the final countdown has begun. Chris was here for Memorial Day weekend and it was amazing! He surprised me Thursday and got here a lot earlier then I thought he was going to. In fact he got here to early that we had time to go out and eat! It was amazing to lay in his arms at night… to feel his arms around me. It almost brings tears to my eyes now just thinking about it. I miss him so much its insane.

We went to dinner with Nina and Jon Friday after work and then we went to the bar with Chris’s bestfriend John and his gf Erin. It was a lot of fun. Saturday we had baby duty and we watched Evan, Ashley’s little boy. I have never had baby fever so bad in my life. Watching Chris with Evan was just so adorable. He is going to be such a wonderful father. It just makes me want a baby so badly, and Nina is even pregnant now and I am so jealous. I feel like I am falling behind and I know that I shouldn’t because I still have 2 years of school left…. but I am going nuts…. UGH…. stupid ticking clock and my baby fever.

We spent time together Saturday night and Sunday we went to Ikea and looked at stuff for our place. We spent the whole day together…. I really can’t wait til we can do that everyday. Its going to be amazing. Monday, which came way too fast, we slept in a little, watched the Memorial Day parade and cooked breakfast together. We went to visit Allison at work and then we all, like the whole family which hasn’t happened in about 3 years, went out to Applebee’s. It was a lot of fun, I was surprised that I had that much fun with my family. But then that horrible time came when Chris had to leave to drive back to NC. This time was the worst out of all of them. You would think that we would be experts at this goodbye shit by now but this time was even more painful…. we stood out there by his car and tears were falling down his face and it just tore at my insides…. I had to fight hard to keep myself under control and to be strong for him because I knew that he was hurting. We kissed and hugged our goodbyes and he got in the car and drove away and I wanted to die right there. I sat on my steps out front and just cried and cried…. the second that he drove away I hurt so bad, I mean I literally hurt. It was horrible. I am so glad that this was the last time that we have to do this because I don’t think I could survive it if we had to do it again. The next time I see him, in about 23 days, we will be leaving together.

Chris is going to be busy with work for a while so I have a feeling that I won’t be talking to him much during the day for a while. He will be moving into our apartment on Monday. I wish that I could move in with him but we just can’t afford that right now. The truck is just so expensive… everything is just so expensive heh. I am so glad that he won’t be living with Joe and Courtney anymore. I really can’t stand them…. they are a self-destructive couple and I don’t want to be around that. I know that Chris is friends with Joe so I try my best to hold my tongue but I am so excited for him to be away from them and their disrespectful ways! In my mind its about 7 days til Chris has his freedom heh.

So our countdowns are 7 days til Chris moves, about 23 days til I see him again, 18 more days of work, and 26 more days til I move down there which also means there are about 30 days til I get married…. and time is just dragging. UGH!

I guess thats it. This is long enough as it is and I should probably get ready for bed…. another lonely night without Chris’s arms around me….. and 23 more nights of this awfulness to go. *sigh*

… don’t be afraid, sometimes they come true! … music is my life