Iraq puts more fear in me

Thoughts are running through my mind right now. Another close call with Rob. He called me this afternoon and told me that he was in hospital. He got hit in the face with shrapnel… his face is bruised and he got more shrapnel in his eye so now his vision in his left eye is even worse. He said that he has to be in hospital for a week before they are going to let him go back out. I got to talk to him on aim today too and he told me that he was standing and then he heard a loud "boom" and then woke up in hospital!!! I kept my reaction to myself and told him that I was just happy that he was ok… but inside I was freaking out. I know that we are lucky… he has been having so many close calls and he is still ok and we are 3 months in so what a fifth of the way done, but still. I hate hearing about him getting hurt… it makes me want to curl up in a little ball and wait for him to get home with my eyes squeezed tight. He told me that he can’t wait to come home so that he can spend the day in my arms. Heh… it makes me want to cry.

He wrote an entry on here and said that they think his platoon are the best in the batallion and so they are going on a lot of missions. Don’t get me wrong, I am so proud of him that he is part of that but at the same time I wish that he wasn’t because I know how much action he is seeing and that scares me more then anything. I keep telling myself to relax because he called me and he is ok, he is in hospital for a week so he will be safe for atleast that long. I just worry about him so much and I wish that we were so much farther into this deployment because I just want him home alive and in one piece. If nothing else in the world… I just want that. I feel like every time I look at the calendar March is farther away instead of closer. I just need for this summer to end! I need school to start so I can focus on other things and not on these slowly ticking days that drive me insane everyday.

I really feel like my life is on hold. Sometimes some of the things that Rob says makes me question what he wants with his future… yes I know that I am being stupid, but I am so afraid that he is going to come home and not want to be with me anymore, crazy talk I know, but I just need to write it down and get it out of my mind. I just really need this r&r because so many of my questions about everything can be answered then. Hell I love Rob more then anything in this universe and I would give anything for him to be safe and for him to be happy. I want to share the rest of my life with him, I know that is what I want…. I just want him home with me…. for him to look me in the eyes and tell me that he feels the same.

I miss him…

~*~*~*~

There are other things going on but I just don’t have the mindset to write about them right now.

Summer book list

1. Chicken Soup for the Military Wife’s Soul… 307 pages

2. Twilight (book 1) by Stephenie Meyer… 498 pages

3. New Moon (book 2) by Stephenie Meyer… 567 pages

4. Eclipse (book 3) by Stephenie Meyer… waiting for the book release in August

5. Echohawk by Lynda Durrant… 12 pages in