and I will miss him so *edit*

I am not going to write the full entry right now… I am just not in the mood.

Rob is being deployed at 17:25 or 5:25 today. I get one more phone call with him before he leaves….

I am going to chance my frontpage today I think…

So look for the edit

~~EDIT~~

Well it is 17:43 right now… and he has been deployed. I tried to sleep through it but I couldn’t sleep… so that leaves me sitting here crying. I got to talk to him a couple times today. He would call me for 2min or 5 min here and there when he had the chance. And then he sent me a text message… "I love you babe" and now he is on his way to Kuwait and in a month Iraq. I am going to miss the good morning text messages from him and the random I love you babes… I am going to miss his voice and talking to him on aim and seeing him on webcam. But I know that I have to get a grip… I know that he would be upset knowing that I am upset….

DAMNIT Laura…. get a grip!!!!

*wipes away tears* *takes deep breath* *wipes away more tears*

I know that he would be disappointed in me if I didn’t get my head on straight. I know that he will be home in 18 months and I know that we can make it through this… I know that I can make it through this.

I have school to throw myself into… I have to bring up my grades so now that I have all this free time I can focus more on school. I have to start looking for a job over the summer and if I don’t end up taking summer classes I am going to try and pick up 2 summer jobs. I have to make a list of all the things I have to do while he is gone….

1. Finish this semester out.

2. Get a summer job or 2 depending.

3. Take summer classes if possible.

4. Start running every other day… starting tomorrow.

5. Start my workout plan again.

6. Save money… atleast $15,000 between his money and mine.

7. Finish my car.

8. Get all A’s my next semester.

9. Apply at Rowan and Rutgers.

10. Grow my hair as long as possible.

11. Work on Rob’s homecoming surprise.

12. Finish my room.

13. Try my hardest to make the 2 cut free months stay that way.

14. Make the list that Rob wants me to make of the things I want us to do together when he comes home.

15. Keep moving foward and not lose sight of my goals.

I figure that is a good list and 18 months sounds like a reasonable amount of time to do that in. Amanda has plans for me already and many of my other friends are offering to spend extra time with me to help the days go by quicker. I mean really…. if I look at it 18 months isn’t really that long… I have this summer to get through, my 23rd birthday, then the next semester will start up again, then Christmas will come, then Easter break will come, then the summer and my 24th birthday and he should be home. He said that his brother may be stopping by to check on me and his grandmother has my aim so I will be talking with her. And it’s not like I won’t hear from him… I know that he is going to get in contact with me as much as possible.

He sent me a package that will be arriving here on Monday. So I have that to look forward to. I know that I will be ok… I know that I will be sad… I know that there will be days where I cry and days where I don’t. I know that there will be times when I just want to give up, but I won’t because I love him and he loves me and we are amazing together. The first month of his deployment will be the hardest I have heard…. but once time starts moving along then it will pick up more and more and he will be home before I know it.

I just miss him…. already.