March 16, 2007

kiss me I’m Irish

myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics Happy St. Patrick’s Day

So today is St. Patrick’s Day… I was going to go to Philly with Amanda but last night it snowed/sleeted so now there is about 3-4 inches of that crap all over the ground. Heh… *throws hands up* I am just about to give up on warm weather and spring. Spring will give me something else to do… work on my garden and I have a feeling it will improve my mood some. I have been having crazy ups and downs. I was driving out in the snow on 295 just watching it all come down last night. Trying not to get killed because 295 is a 4 lane highway and there were no lanes… just one big sheet of ice. Fun times. In my mind I am picturing all these hopeless romantic thoughts… playing in the snow with someone, sitting by a fireplace with someone just holding each other and listening to soft music play, thinking about how lonely I was at that moment. Heh… I don’t know why I do that to myself. Its those moments that make me hate being single, its those moments that I live for and wish to share with someone. Those moments….

I have to find a way to turn my mind off to the things that I seem to find myself thinking about. Another sleepless night last night. Got off aim at 3am just to lay in bed awake for another hour or so. This is really going to be a problem once school kicks back in on Monday and I have to get up at 6 or 7am. Oh that is going to suck!

So… fun Irish day plans…. sit at home and work on school work. Maybe write some much needed letters to some people… maybe start working on my room… dig my damn car out of the snow since the plows were nice enough to plow me in… maybe go to Lowes and look at carpets, paint, heaters, and window glass and get some prices. I am so sick of waiting on my father, who told me that he was going to help me with all this, cause he keeps screwing me over as per usual… and then he wonders why I hate him so much. Well O great father of mine… beat the shit out of me for years, lie to me, try to strangle me, and then play nice doesn’t make me hate you any less.

So… ranting there… sorry…. ok back on track.

Maybe I will have sushi for dinner… that usually makes me happy. Random texts from Rob are making me smile today… Chris was actually nice this morning and I think the talk that we had helped the air between us. I think I am going to put the fountain up again that Rob got me and stare at it some more… its relaxing and helps me to settle my thoughts and think. The changing colors are soothing.

Thinking of how my life will turn out…. but the path is bright this time and I can see where I am going. I have the map this time too and I plan to follow it better and not venture off on those stupid side paths that usually lead to danger. Knowing this… makes me smile.

*hugs* You live in southern jersey? I love up in northern jersey around Flemington and I got about 9-10 inches. Happy St. Patty’s Day hun!! <3

Want sun?? Come to Texas. 😉

sorry your St. Patrick’s Day didn’t go as planned.. the weather is kind of crazy lately, huh? but I’m glad you have a bright future to look forward to! 😛

in reply to your note: I’m glad you’re working on trying to get your cutting habits under control.. I am, too, though I don’t know how it will go. it is a problem that will probably always be with me.. I’m hooked, I guess.. heh. but people do usually look at it the wrong way, and it is not to commit suicide, but the opposite.. to try not to.

I have kept from being hospitalized so far, too, and hope to keep it that way. all I can do is try to make sure that I don’t do it every single time I feel like it. I try to ask myself why it is that I want to do it and whether or not it will be worth it. that’s all I can do, right? just try to keep it under control. anyway. thank you for your notes, long or not. and take care.

Forging of the Night

March 17, 2007

Well, I know how it is being single, I miss the snow. Seeing everything covered in that first pristine layer, the silence that comes from being the only one outside to enjoy it. The strange warm and violet light that fills the sky and the only sound to be heard is the snow falling. Yes, I miss the snow and someone to share it with. …and with hammer to anvil, he continued the

NFG

hey! thanks for your note. It feels good to be back lol. Hopefully ill start comeing on here more. Spring is like…in 4 days? I think. Anyways I’m ready for it too! much love, Tara

what did some one say sun it’s been so long i’ve forgot the sun was there lol just the weather has been shit for a while here. here the fuked up uk lol lol lol love ya hunny xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

there are just some people who read me that I wouldn’t let see certain things. here: L onely, but not alone E mpty handed, but not poor N eeding love more than money A lways hoping for so much more E nter me R ealistic, but a dreamer, my eyes are O pen to the world, and though I’m S hy, I still speak thoughts out, not S houting, but on paper- I’m a poet.

Oh hey do you have myspac IM?

draco

well sorry about the car thing…lol. I called them and told them to do that. The father issue yea i’m not getting into that. But I’m glad to hear that your getting your life back on track and you know what your doing this time. I’m glad to hear that you like the fountain I got you, hope it helps a little.

hey babe sorry about your car i see my sister has already left you a note she really shouldn’t swaer tho but shes right uk is fuked up have fun with your room let me know what coulers you have picked and you know i meant it about the bob thing note soon or that shall be your name bob lol love ya loads hunny xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx happy saint patricks day sweety xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Happy St.Patrick’s Day!