falling forever is all I seem to do

And just when I thought that things were getting better… shit blows up in my face! So now Andrew and I are fighting yet again!! It seems that no matter how much I try to keep things good and calm that it always goes to hell, no matter how hard that I try. So this will be some crazy rant… prob short so pay no attention… just venting…..

I really do love him and care about him, but the fighting and his temper are driving me crazy and I am really tired of him cursing at me every time we fight. I wish that he could better control his temper and he tells me that he tries, but sometimes I just can’t tell. And then everytime we do fight it always gets turned around so that it is somehow my fault and that drives me nuts. Today we fought about me talking with Chris… and he doesn’t like the way that Chris talks to me…. so that sparked a huge fight. And then somehow I get blamed for Chris talking that way… and then I get blamed for making Andrew feel upset! What the FUCK?! I try so hard to make things good between us… to not do things that make him upset, but no matter how hard I try it always seems that fate has something else in mind.

Andrew gets angry so quickly and so easily. And in turn that makes me angry and I am not a good person to talk to when I am angry so I went for a drive… and after racing a mustang and beating it, I went to the mall and pretended to shop and then went to my parents so I could jump on the internet and here I am. I am procrastinating since I don’t want to go back to Andrew’s and finish our fight. I figured I would have some drinks first… thank god for Kaluha!

And now I have to go so my brother can use the computer….

**SIGH**