and things can change just like that *edit*

Hmmm…. I wasn’t going to write about this because I don’t want to write about something sad. But I was thinking about it all last night and dreamt about it and I’m still thinking about it this morning. So.. I thought maybe I would feel better if I wrote it down.

Rob told me last night that he might not be able to come home for Thanksgiving. Yeah….

So I am really upset right now. And the more that we were talking… it kinda sounds like I won’t get to see him that much at all before he goes. I will see him for Christmas, and after that there is a chance that I won’t see him again til after he gets home from Iraq! I am not sure how I really feel about al of this. I know that I am upset, numb, scared…. I guess I just wish that things were easier and that I didn’t get my hopes up so high about Thanksgiving. Yes, he said there is still a chance that he will come home for Thanksgiving, but I don’t want to count on that. If I start thinking that things will work out and then they don’t… I will be so crushed. Kinda like I am right now.

I will write more about this later… after I think about how I feel about everything and organize my thoughts in some kind of way that make sense. So I guess…. look for the edit.

**EDIT**

So.. when I got back from classes today there was a myspace message from Rob…. and it said… that he IS coming home for Thanksgiving!!! So now I am not so upset… back to being oober nervous about him coming. He reserved his ticket last night… he comes in at 6:13 am on Thanksgiving and departs sometime around 10am on the 26. I am excited and nervous…. he is that dream fairy-tale love…. and sometimes I can’t believe that I have him or that I feel this way. I am such a hopeless romantic… romeo and juliet, ever after, all those intensely romantic movies, and now I have that feeling and I will admit that I am so scared that I am just imagining it all. This is a happiness that I have never felt… and even though I know that when I see him everything will fall into place, I am still scared and nervous.

I know… I am insane…. but Rob says that he feels the same way about me. *sigh* So now I just have to wait til Thanksgiving… see him at the airport, let him do what he said he was going to.. and see how well our seperate lives mesh into one. 8 days…. 8 days.