bad day edit and edit again

I don’t think that I am going to write much down. Today sucks… I cut 4 times today. Not big, more like scratches. Chris was pushing me away today… he keeps telling me to go out and meet people, go out and talk to people. He knows that I am not one to just go out and do that.

Grrr…..

Cried today too… and not really for any reason other then I miss Chris. I don’t even know what made me think of it… I think that Chris is going out tonight since Sam’s girlfriend broke up with him last night Chris wants to take him out to cheer him up. Isn’t that nice?

I hate life…. I hate life…

*EDIT*

that unsigned note… that is from my asshole ex. The one who is trying to take me to court for presents that he gave me…

**EDIT**

And still the harassment continues from asshole Geoff on myspace. I can’t believe that I was so stupid and that I threw away my relationship with Chris to date Geoff. Everytime I look back I realize how stupid I was. I should have known from high school that Geoff was and always will be immature and childish. I should have known that having a relationship with Geoff was going to get me nowhere. I regret every moment that I wasted on him… all those nights that I could have been talking and sleeping with and kissing Chris, but I wasted them all on Geoff. Why did I ever think that Geoff would make me happier then Chris… why did I ever believe that Geoff had changed and could improve? Why? Looking back I realize how stupid I was… and I will never be able to change what I did. I will never be able to go back and tell Geoff to fuck off.

All I can hope for now is that Chris can heal from the pain that I caused him. All I can do is wait for time to heal his heart and hope that he sees the love that I have for him. One stupid mistake… and my whole life fell apart. I will never be able to forgive myself for what I did. But atleast now I know that Geoff is worthless, has been and always will be.

i got id

September 10, 2006

right there with ya sister.

ha ha ha ha ur such a stupid mfer so i hope u get my email cause there is a court date going to be coming up if u dont give me my stuff back within a week.

^^ he’s such a pussy. He shouldnt be treating you like this. Im so sorry you’re feeling down. I totally understand and if i knew him, i swear on my life i would kill him for you, if it was the last thing i’d ever do. I love you <3

Red_James

what a homo… alwell besides he can’t get anything.. loser….

Shazar

They say hindsight is always 20/20. What matters is what you do when you don’t have a clue how things will turn out. Foresight. Will you heal from the pain Chris is causing you? I commend self-sacrifice, but not to the point of Your life. Were it not for the choices you made, you would not be here, as you are right now. That’s not a judgement of good or bad. What is, is. Move onward from HERE.

i got pissed off at wprk and got rid of it…

RX♥queen//

September 11, 2006

omg what a jerk. tell him to f***off. i hope you are feeling better!!….ela

This Opinion of Mine

thanks, yeah i am, nd will be, he’s like ‘i’m always fine =)’ but he reli shudn’t be right now… <33 charli .x.

Geoff is a cunt!! please ignore hin hunni..it was him who left that note right?? i hope yooh and chris do work out <33 charli .x.

Geoff is a cunt!!! yeah i hope that to hun!! <33

Grim_Joker

and quit cutting yourself. reality isn’t that bad once you start to ignore it.Much love, dont do anything i wouldn’t do. Take care

a place in the mall here they have a bunch of different thigns liek this.. we r slowly gonan get them all

NFG

awww! I feel so freakin bad for you right now! Like words cant even begin to explain what I feel for you right now. I really hate seeing people in these kind of situations where in the end the guy turns out to be a totall di ck head. *sigh*… much love, Tara

etoile_rouge2

time will heal you too, im sure he would forgive you one day, but it seems he still misses you since you broke up? so maybe you will get back together? why do you cut? Is the rush greater than the pain so you can actually cut? couldn’t you find a better way to release, maybe write, at least after you have something out of all your pain.

What is it that makes us cut? is it the pain? is it the releaze of all the pent up energy or is it just the sight of blood? my belif is that it is not bad to cut. me

What did you do to him? i feel so worthless sometimes. u know how it is. I just wish that something drastic or dramatic would happen so that i would not have to be here anymore. i don’t see the point. i flirt with the idea of pressing the razor deeper to completly wipe out my life. mre