the day is over

So the anniversary of Dustin’s death is over. i was so glad that i had to work, so i that i didn’t end up sitting at home depressed.  i know that i would be, i know that if i didn’t have work i would only be crying and dwelling on it. it was so long ago, i know that i should be getting over it. i know that i should be moving on, it is difficult.

I was just too young, and looking back on it now sometimes i don’t know how i got through it. i guess i am proud that i made it this far. sometimes i still feel guilty about leaving, but it was what he wanted and i wanted nothing more then to make him happy. He smiled as i left, and i will always remember that. I have been working hard, trying to overcome my downfalls one by one. i am struggling my way through college, something that i know he wanted for me since i was having family troubles and had considered running away and dropping out of school. He was my motivation through the hard times. He will always remain my motivation. i push myself everyday and he is always in the back of my mind.

I have written him a couple more poems just like i do every year. Lost Embrace is the one i wrote for him today. I always write one on the anniversary. my way of reaching out to him, sending him my thoughts, letting him know that i care, love, and miss him.

i guess i just need more time to heal. but when i do, there will always remain a scar on my heart for him.