the real entry of today

i think that uncreative bug has been going around and i was unfortunate enough to catch it. i haven’t been able to write lately. the few poems that i have written are no where near the quality of what i usually write. i have been feeling numb, empty. when i write i usually pour out all my emotions into the poetry, but now when i am sitting by myself i don’t feel anything.

maybe it has to do with me being sick. and i know that the lack i sleep that i have been getting doesn’t help matters. i have cried myself to sleep now for the past couple nights, it is really depressing. i am sitting here right now, looking out the window at the yet again rainy sky thinking. not thinking about anything special, just going over life. i have to go to work in about an hour, and i feel so awful. i don’t want to go. i am so tired, i miss sleeping, i miss being warm, i miss . . . i don’t know what it is, but it not with me right now. the moon was out last night, but i know i won’t see it tonight. it is supposed to rain all night and into tomorrow. i don’t know what will happen tonight. i don’t know what i am doing well short of work.

blah    blah     blah