Destructive Disaster.

Music Video:JUST LIKE A PILL (by Pink)

 

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I use to think I was fine by myself. BUt I realized. WIth out some one near,loving me I am really capable of ruinin myself. It worries me sometimes.

Dont mind me..I am gonna ramble now.

you see the poem back was about him. You know the one I like. And well He makes me feel different. I believe its a good thing.

But here is the deal. I drank again last night. My drinking was controled for awhile there. And I am afraid I might do something stupid if I dont keep my self busy. It scares me..My urge to drink.

A little history lesson. I went to rehab for my drinking before. I have had alcohol poisoning countless times. And I really should know better. But sometimes I am tired of feeling so messed up in the head. An escape just feels nice.

I just want to get away from myself sometimes.

*I got emotionless pride,where you left me. Must be a bad trip. All of the other pills they were different. Maybe I should get some help*

I think sometimes escaping myself can really make it worse..

wow. arent I special I went from manic to the exact opposite..covers and crying might be in store. .If I dont hush these voices.

Maybe I should just sleep.

Im sorry Im not happy again. I was for awhile. Ill get there again. My saddness can kill me you know.

Or fuck me up royally or something wonderful like that.

Tiamo,Siarai

PS. I wish I could see him.

Without you, the ground thaws
the rain falls
the grass grows

Without you, the seeds root
the flowers bloom
the children play

The stars gleam
the poets dream
the eagles fly
without you

The Earth turns
the sun burns
but I die, without you

Without you, the breeze warms
the girl smiles
the cloud moves

Without you, the tides change
the boys run
the oceans crash

The crowds roar
the days soar
the babies cry
without you

The moon glows
the river flows
but I die without you

The world revives
colors renew
but I know blue
only blue
lonely blue
willingly blue
Without you

Without you, the hand gropes
the ear hears
the pulse beats

Without you, the eyes gaze
the legs walk
the lungs breathe

The mind churns
the heart yearns
the tears dry without you

Life goes on
but I’m gone
’cause I die, without you
without you
without you
without you…..