Im a big fucking mess…That is what I am.

FACE DOWN (Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)

 

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It is raining outside..IT is like the weather mirrors my insides today.

I feel really fucked up today.

It is strange because two hours ago I didn’t feel so fucked up.

I wish someone was here. I wish I didnt have to sleep by myself.

It makes me feel…even more fucked up.

…

It is strange how when I feel this fucked up I just want him to be near me..To hold my hand not say anything just be quietly there.

What bugs me the most?

He cant be here..It was my own decision to just not have him be more then my friend..I am mad at myself.

Oh well..You know what..I just want to sleep for hours and hours and hours..

and not wake up..

Life is bullshit.

That is what it is.

..

Because..I hate how small certain people make me feel. People that shouldnt get under skin and make me feel small. But regardless to my hard exterior I still have fucking feelings.

Ignore me if you want to.

Talk shit behind my back.

Kick me while I am down..

It fucking hurts. But I will get over it.

I might cry from time to time..But For Fuck Sake you won’t know it was you that did it..in fact you won’t even see what you did.

What did I do anyway…I mean really. Once upon a time we were friends are you really that selfish.That selfish that because I rejected you..and asked to be your friend you have to say nasty lies about me.

You know all that shit isnt true.

You said it anyway.

IT FUCKING HURTS THAT YOU DID THIS TO ME.

Are you really that cold? That selfish?

Fuck you..Fuck you..Fuck you.

Dont ever say my name again.

I hope..rawr.

*shuts up before she regrets some thing she says*

I hate liars..Therefore I hate you.

…

Nothing can change this.

Ever.EVER>EVER.

.*Do you feel like a man?When you push her around?*

…

I fucking wish someone would teach you some manners..

I really do.

I really hope you read this..You egotistical bastard.

…..

I hate you.

Dont talk to me. Dont talk to my friends. Dont drive by my house. Dont go to my work place. Both of them.

…

Rawr. *screams obcenities..Cries*

People suck.

Siarai…

( Please…Dont make me explain this everyone..This is mostly for him to read..PS. Not about boomer..:P)

I do wish he was here though..dammit.