dfghdiuhreti I cant sleep…*sighs*

what I am wearing: nothing but my blue satin blanket…no seriously.

hair: fire red and curlyish.I think my glasses are smudged..man.

Quote for the day:*she is such an angry little thing and she does a little dance,she puts you in a trance, Watch out boy! Because she is such an evil thing. A real smart thing. Such a pretty little thing.But remember or you might be her fool,She is such an angry little thing*(my poem)

Shoes: nope..naked

What Is my schedule for today: sleep, work, hang with mah friend.(fun schedule eh?)I do love working at the race track;) And Dustin is a very swell fellow and a very good friend. I have known him for a very long time. He is very sweet. and extremely nice.Sometimes I am afraid I am too much of a bitch to deserve his friendship but yet…He is still my friend.:P Go figure.

Song lyrics of the day:(random from my musicplayer)

Pink – The One That Got Away Lyrics

Mmmm mm yeah
Oh oh
I stood by the exit door of the hotel cafe
He was playing with his band
I’ve always been a sucker had a weakness for a boy with a guitar
and a drink in his hand
His words were like heaven in my hurricane
My knees buckled under
I thought everyone was watching me
Watching you save my life with the song

You were mine
In the back of my mind
Oh just for one night
Just for a while

There’s always one that gets away
The one that sneaks up on you that slips away

Two weeks later I was sitting in his apartment
He was making cappuchino
I said what kind of man makes cappuchino
We laughed
We laughed
We laughed
We laughed til tears ran down my face

Oh but my man you’re someone elses man
And that aint the man that I want
But you keep drawing me in with those big brown lion eyes

You’ll always be mine
In the back of my mind
Oh we had a night
Just a little wine

There’s always one that gets away
The one that sneaks up on you that slips away

In a closed off corner of my heart yes
I’ll always see your face
The one that got away
One that got away
The one that got away
The one that got away
Oh the one that got away
The one that got away
Oh the one that got away
The one that got away
Oh the one that got away
Yeah yeah
Oh oh oh oh
Yeah yeah
Oh

I’m not a victim of cliches
I don’t believe in soul mates
Happy endings only one
Oh and I met you and all that changed
I had a taste and you’re still sitting on the tip of my
tongue

You were mine
Somewhere in time
I’ll look for you first
In my next life

There’s always one that gets away
The one that sneaks up on you that slips away
Slips away
In a closed off corner of my heart yeah yeah yeah yeah
I I’ll always see your face
The one that got away
The one that got away
The one that got away
The one that got away
Oh the one that got away
The one that got away
Oh the one that got away
The one that got away
The one that got away
Yeah yeah
Oh oh yeah
The one that got away
(this is a trip..You have no idea)
Poem of the day:
You knew me then:
You knew me when I was only five
Afraid to smile I felt so alive.
I held your hand in sweet surrender.
You knew me like a friend. It was a love so tender.
And I could smile fondly back. I knew I love I smile.
And all the while in time. You came around again.
You are my friend dear.
You can draw me near.(dear)
Sweetness. Sweetness.
I wish you only knew.
If you only knew.
(I wrote that..Yesterday on a napkin)

Seriously guys..Meh, I am having company over tonight after working. I am gonna be flippin tired.You know?

Well I work at the racetrack tonight.And then me and my friend Dustin are gonna hang. Right on.

Yeah…I work wierd hours and sleep wierd hours. But so does he.So hanging with him is feasible.

I hope to see Boomer soon also. : ) I am gonna be a very busy girl today. Work and hanging out.Go me.

Anyway..I prolly wont have time to sleep and write in my diary so I am doing that now;)

While eating. 🙂

Then off to bed I go.After saying good bye to my kiddy and my folks to let them know thatll I will miss them and stuff. Cz I so will. How many days do you give me before I start going through kiddy withdrawal?

Torturmous for me..Really.

We dont spend very much time apart for very long. The longest time ever is like three days so who knows what ten days will do yeck.

But I will have some company to help me keep my sanity yes I will. 🙂

*When I was a young buck I tried to be like everyone. I tried to hard to be sugar and spice I tried hard to be nice. But it  didnt work for me. Got old quickly. But now I am not losing sleep at night. I know who I am . yes I do.Cz now I have everything that I ever wanted or so it seems. You don’t have to like me anymore.I don’t care what you say about me anymore.When I got older I realized it is all lies,There is no price. There is no heartache that you cant afford,Everything can be delievered right to your door if you just believe. I wont be decieved.Responisbilities.Who said life was easy?So now the girl with everything. How can she complain.Soesnt she have everything. Or does she have nothing.Nothing.I dont need to be tucked in at night. Told everything will be alright.Because I know it wont be alright,Because I dont want to fight you see you dont have to like me..anymore.I dont care what you say about me..anymore.  I wouldnt trade a dollar for some sense.I wouldnt trade my life time for new friends because Ive got everything.And all is what it seems.I have worked so hard all of my life,So I could have things to call mine,But what is there to show for it. What is it.But they tell me..I dont need no love,Because Ive got enough.So now I dont mind being alone all the time.It is alright. I got me now. That is what it about now.I dont have time for friends or family.Or that is how it seems.*

I know..depressing. Before when I was unemployed I felt more grounded. And I dont so much anymore. I mean..as much as I like the money I think the job is ruining everything,It seems I dont have time for my family,friends,boomer. It drives me crazy.

I want a vacation..I need a break i think I might crack. Or snap or something sometimes.

Have you ever thought about when you were a teen and angry and you thought what if all that I thought then would be different now would I have felt better then knowing that.

there is a song by pink that reminds me of that..Here is the words.

*Conversations with my 13 yr old self. You’re angry,I know that.The world couldnt careless.You’re lonely.I feel this.You wish you were the best.No teachers

,Or guidance,and you always walk alone.You are crying at night when,nobody else is home.Come over here and lemme hold your hand and hug you darling,I promise you it wont always feel this bad.There are so many things I want to tell you,You are the little girl I use to be,you little heartbroken 13 year old me. You are laughing but you are hiding,GoD I know that trick so well.You forget that I have been you,and now I am just your shell.I promise,Ill love you.Everything will be alright.Dont try to grow up yet..Just give it a little time.The pain you feel is real,you are not asleep but its a nightmare.But you cant wake up anytime. Oh dont lose your passion,Or the fire that is inside of you.You are the girl i use to be.The pissed off complicated 13 year old me.*

Oh until we meet again..I wish you well.The little girl in me. : )

Mucho mucho Love my friendlies. Siarai