hell is nicer then how I feel..(ok so dramatic)

I feel like crap today. I got a cold, a migraine, a mental illness problem and my ermm.. well womanly crud..all on the same day. Let me tell you..This feels like hell and I am so not exagerating..ok maybe a little but I really hurt.:(

* ok so I am being a baby today..but seriously.owwie:( *

You know what makes me mad..When people label me. They assume that because I am female and already have a child I want to have like a whole hell of alot more.(talking about G’s family here).

I mean I am not even ready for anything remotely like that..My life is not straight, My head is not on straight, I need help for the one I have so why would they assume I need more..seriously.. FFS..These people need their heads examined and they say I am crazy.

Plus another thing I am really..really allergic to alot of pain meds and the ones I am not allergic to make me feel like I just took speed or something. So yeah lets yank out nine pounds and 21 inches out of me without any sort of medication. That sounds swell. Plus I have mental illnesses that can be passed down o my child and so does my boyfriend. It just seems insensitive and stupid for the child I think..But wtf do I know it is just my body..

Ok To explain that rant…I was talking to G today and he mentioned that his mother wants grandchildren. (This woman says she dont even like me but she wants me and G to breed..how wierd.)I told G,That if it happened so be it but I am not looking for marriage much less..children any time in my near future. It is just way more then I even want to take on. Then when she asked him she found out I wasnt interested and said I wasn’t being fair to him..But to be honest it is after all my BODY ISnt it? Shouldnt I have some say what happens to it? Plus..We have only been living to gether for like 6 monthes.. a little fast I think..I mean egh..

BUt ok so onto everything else:)

SO what I want to do to morrow is to not feel as sick..Not ache all over at least. That would kick ass.

so this week I work..3 whole days..woohoo:P.

I am lazy sometimes yep..But in fairness it isnt like I sit on my ass and do nothing cz I am so on the go for the most part.:)

……………..So song and poetry..:)

This is a old poem but one of my favorites..

Mr moon
says you are
like
a blind man
trying to
describe a tree
you can never love
not really
your life is hard your jaded
and heart is cold and black
and everything
I love is all that you lack
so I will be the fool
and you will never learn to
let me love you

My song for today:

Told you I felt lucky with my humble breasts
Well I don’t
Said that I was sure the world was gonna change
Well I’m not
Before I didn’t give a damn ’bout what they say
But I do
Promised that I’ll never ever lie to you

So you can help
Taking the make-up off my face
Before I forget my own features

I’m not here to let you down
But the costume makes the clown
It’s just life’s anatomy
Don’t be so hard
Don’t be so hard on this
It’s your turn now
To cheat on me

Promises I made to you went down the sink
Really hope I haven’t harmed your self esteem
I’m not a virgin but I’m not the whore you think
And I don’t always smell like strawberries and cream

So you can help
Taking the make-up off my face
Before I forget who I am now

‘Cause I’m not here to let you down
But the costume makes the clown
It’s just life’s ?? on me
Don’t be so hard
Don’t be so hard on this
It’s your turn now
Your turn now…

I’m not here to let you down
But the costume makes the clown
It’s just life’s ?? on me
Don’t be so hard
Don’t be so hard on this
It’s your turn now
Your turn now…
To cheat on me

…

SO now for my picture and a thing to say..

I think this is fucking beautiful. I think you are fucking beautiful. I think love is four letter word I can never mutter because it makes me feel like I fool. I think You make me smile. You make my life worth while. You get my insanity you make the stars so they are not so far out of reach..You know when to not take me seriously and for that reason. I love you like a friend, and I am madly fond.( I wrote that for whom it is appropriate..judge for yourself.) Lg..Siarai