Struggle.
I’m struggling.
Struggling to remember all the little things that I should be writing about here, all the amazing things that my amazing daughter does, what I have and haven’t shared yet.
Struggling with the fact that I am a fucking ADULT and have only myself to help with big adult decisions like buying a car. (Yes, it will be my second car, but the first one my father-in-law organized it all, all I did was sign and pay for it, so that doesn’t count.)
Struggling with the lack of friends here. I don’t know HOW to make friends. I’m friendly with all of Jake’s coworkers but only one feels like a friend-friend and she’s the popular type who is always busy and often cancels plans. I try to try with being friendly with family but even that is tough because… well maybe "we’re always free" "you’re always welcome here" reeks of desperation?
Struggling with the lack of time to do WHATEVER I WANT. This place is seeming more and more chaotic and my to-do list is getting bigger and bigger and very few of those things are things I can do with a child at my feet wanting attention.
Struggling with forcing myself to get out so Ashley can develop social skills. Actually this is more than a struggle. This is a complete and utter fail. She has no friends, and it is all my fault. For instance, the library just down the street (MAYBE a 2 minute walk if we are slow) has young kid story time every Friday. I either forget, or on the rare occasion that I remember, am terrified of the idea of attending. I don’t know the building, I don’t know if anyone actually shows up to these things, and if they do… being around people? Scary.
Struggling with the desire for another child, but knowing I almost certainly couldn’t cope with taking care of 2 children. But it seems so cruel to not have a second child, and leave poor Ashley as an unsocial only child.
Struggling with the idea of people reading this.
Just struggling.
I don’t know what your beliefs are, but I just thought I’d let you know that I’m praying for you.
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*hug*
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You can go to the library for the story time, but kind of sit in the back away from everyone so you can get a feel for it. You can also try meetup (.com?) You can usually find some mom/playgroups there.
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If it’s any help at all I only bought my first car last year at the age of 45. All by myself, including organising insurance, RACV membership & finance. Yes I was scared but after I did it I was so elated.
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Maybe try & challenge yourself to go to story time once a week. I know it will be a struggle but one you’ll feel so good about conquering. Who knows, maybe there is another mum there just as unsure as you & you’ll both be able to support each other. It could be the start of something good. 🙂
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*hugs* for you sweet pea. I feel the same way so much of the time. The friend thing is hard. I get that. I don’t make new friends easily. I lucked out with Daniel because he’s a natural with people, so I just kind of adopt his friends. xx
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Awwww honey! *hugs* I would make a plan for going to storytime. Maybe not this week – maybe next. Sit in the back and take it in. 🙂
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I struggle big time with unknown social things. So if it were me, I’d try to go check out the library on my own some time, find out where the story time will be and maybe ask someone how many tend to show up. Then when it comes to actually going to one, you’ll know where to go and what to expect. Would that help? Don’t worry about people reading. That’s what we’re here for 🙂
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If it is any help, we can go to story time together for the first time. Once you have been the second time will be easier. I’ll also help get the to-do list down a bit. You are doing a great job. You are a great mum. Ashley certainly doesn’t seem to be lacking socially. *giant hugs* (I wish I was there already to give giant real hugs)
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::hugs:: You’re doing a good job! Your family is happy and Ashley is growing up healthy and amazing. That’s what’s important. Make small goals – go to story time once and see how it goes. The next step after that will be easier.
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