Peeling the foot away.

I am so bored. The kind of bored where most things just don’t sound unboring, so you end up doing nothing, and hating it. I knoe what I would love to do (watch dexter season 7) but it is late and Ashley is asleep and we have a small apartment and not even a real door between the bedroom and lounge room, so that’s not going to happen. Need to send the baby to grandma’s for 24 hours on a weekend and just binge-watch. Who knows when that will happen though…

Bed time for Ashley sucks lately. She does not want me to read any books, pretty much, so there is no calming period before bed. So she lays in bed, rolls around, on-and-off feeds, and worst of all twists my nipple between her fingertips. This goes on for almost an hour before she just crashes. And even though I wait at nap time until she asks for a nap, the same thing happens. It is ridiculously frustrating. Especially as she will not let Jake calm her back to sleep, so I get a small window between freedom and being called back in because the aircon made a weird noise and woke her up or something. However, 2 good things have happened lately. A few nights ago I managed to use my small breaks to paint my toenails a beautiful rainbow, and that makes me happy every time I see them. The second thing, yesterday at nap time I got up and she didn’t wake so I got half an hour of complete free time! It was amazing!! Only a handful of times have I been freed during nap, and not once since she started on one long nap instead of two small ones. The only reason I got up was because nap had already gone way longer than normal and I kind of wanted to wake her so she would sleep at an appropriate hour. But it was so lovely to have unexpected freedom like that. I ordered prints of photos, had a nice cool drink, and tidied up the toys all over the floor. Aaah.

I am so sick of this stupid heat. I hate summer. I don’t understand spending hours at the beach or in the sun or even outside when it is so damn hot. It is almost 11pm and it is 83F/28C outside, cooler than it was when I got up at 8am. We went grocery shopping very early this morning (would have been earlier but we needed to go to the bank which doesn’t open til 9…) and we had thought of going for a wander around Staples but our car doesn’t have air conditioning so it is disgusting, even for short trips. I need a new car. NEED. It is so crappy not really being able to go anywhere because the poor baby gets so sweaty in the car. We have our windows down all the way so she gets some breeze but the back windows don’t open.

There are 2 bugs repeatedly flying into the lamp and it is so distracting. We have fake paper lantern lamps so it is very loud and obvious… time to go be a kitty and hunt the bugs.