what no to wear

This morning I was up at 8:13am. I had a weird dream last night but i cannot remeber what it was- all I know is that I remeber thinking to myself not to forget the numbers, 144,33. I looked on the net what it meant, in the bible, but can not quit figure what it means yet.
I think i<m starting a cold, which i really cannot have right now, the new job starts on monday and i cannot allow myself to get sick. I stayed in bed till 12 – watch a movie on tv, some Maury and the price is right till i finally decided to go to the leaving room. Ariel, my cousin, was already there surffing the net on her lap top. We started watching tv, and fell on What not to Wear on TLC. sometimes i wish someone would subscribe me to the show, I need a new me. We got so depresse watching, i felt like going into my room and put everything i owned in the garbage (i have like 4 closets filled up to max capacity with cloths and shoes) – put i have a million styles and it seems like i cannot stick to one. I actually figured what was my problem. I’m stuck to the old me, it’s not that i’m affraid of change,, put i’m more affraid of what people around me are gonna think about the change. Not long ago i got this shirt, and when i showed it to Dan he said: i didn t think you would buy something like that! liek what?
Anyhow, since i<m starting this new job, at this big accounting firm (i’m not an accountant), i figured i needed real women cloths, like i<m not a teenager anymore – and i cannot be a fashion victim. so we both decided to go shopping – i ended spending 400$ – thank g-od for great deals – i got my first real suit, my frist first, i need to fix the pants, another kind of blazer/jacket japenese collor – a pink turtle neck (i dont want to wear black anymore), a pair of short gray pants, and a new pair of shoes (yellow).

anyhow, dan just got out of the shower, ifigured i was gonna right a little something while he was in there. Just b4 going in, he asked me for a blow job, i was like, well u know what baby, we can not always get what we want, and remeber what u said : we cannot always be clued together – i know it s out of context , but this what he answers when i ask for hugs  – he had no choice to accept the answer. I would of loved to give him some pleasure, but you know what, i need to learn how to say know and sometimes just start pleasing myself. i dont always get what i want.

ok i ll come back later hopefully, tonight i m sleeping here.

c u