Greed

 There is something inside us that makes us always want more than what we have or can afford. I am guilty of this and I suppose that just about everyone else has been at some point in their life. Considering my age (I am 38) I still look decent. I have all my hair and it is still brown, all my teeth, body could be better but I do what I can with that considering my medical issues. I am not one of those skinny minis but I am not huge either. I am always longing to look like the girls I see in magazines and on tv. I keep trying to remind myself that good looking people have problems also and their lives are not perfect because of the way they look. Somehow I have myself convinced that I don’t have a boyfriend because of the way I look, and every time a guy rejects me, I automatically assume that it is because he thinks I am ugly. Especially if they like a friend who is skinnier and better looking than I am. I have no idea what men are looking for nowadays. I don’t do very well with men in real life so I tried talking to men online, which for the most part turned out to be a disaster. Most of these guys were total jerks and also only looking for beauty queens. I have run out of places to look and am getting older. Too old to play the games guys play. Yeah, I know, girls do it too, but I don’t. I think my whole hang up with the way I look is because the kids in school and even people in my adult life are always making fun of the way I look.

 Just a question for men out there, if anyone reads this or cares to respond…what do you guys like in women and look for?