*Tears*
Well I was reading my favs and when I came across Bly Jette and she has this guess thingy jiggy on it…so I stole it!! [Thank you!!]
Well once I think things couldn’t get any worse than his mother an even larger dark cloud comes over my head. Pat and I are on the rocks…once again. It started off being an alright day. Waited for Pat to call me this morning cause he said he’d call when he got up today. Waited and waited…no call. Went and got the mail today with mom and I got our new checks so I had to get ahold of him to tell him to put the starter checks away. I called him at 1:34 this afternoon and when I called I just had woke him up!! On top of that, the check that I made him promise that he’d take care of is now more than likely on it’s way to his sister Liz because he didn’t take care of it like I had plead him to do. PLUS when I was checking my bank account to make sure they had took out the $18.95 for the checks we ordered I had him give me the ID and password to his and his mother account. It is overdrafted by $206!! I started crying. So again, the gas doesn’t get paid. All that can be paid this week is the overdraft fee and the mortgage, which is $826. That right there is $1032. Plus the $100 check that [more than likeley] got sent to Liz…so that’s a grand total of $1132…and they don’t get paid for another 2 days!! I started to cry, and Pat had the balls to ask “are you crying?” Are you fucking kidding?!?! He sleeps all day while I’m up because I can’t sleep, all the money is gone, I can’t go “home” to him, and his mother is still around. He called me about 10 minutes ago and I told him that I wasn’t coming back. Gas or no gas. That I was getting an appartment for myself, Owen, and Riley. So he can have his precious house that he refuses to get rid of and his mother. And he tells me he misses me.
Why?! I try to be strong for myself and my children, but I find myself crying all the time because of all the shit that is going on with him. It would be so easy to walk away if we weren’t having kids. Maybe I’m trying to love enough for the both of us. I just don’t want to do this alone, BUT…if I have to then so be it.
I’m gonna go for now. It’s 10:30 and I’m tired…plus I have so many tears swelling in my eyes the screen is going blurry. Don’t forget…ultrasound tomorrow!!
Until then…toodles.
♥ Amanda
*big big hugs* I’m so sorry hun. I know you don’t want to do it by yourself, and I know how it feels to want to keep it together because of children. But if it comes down to it, you CAN do this. I just hope you don’t have to do it by yourself. Maybe he’ll come around. Be strong and one day your kids will be very grateful for it. You can talk to me anytime. *hugs*
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WoW!! I’m really tryin’ to say this as nicely as I can, but it seems like Pat needs to grow up and stand up to his mom. Cause it’s definatly not gonna get any better until she is gone..I never understood why people spend money they KNOW they don’t have! But I’m happy that you can stand up to him and let him know that you aren’t goin’ back (for now at least). I hope the ultrasound goes well!!
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Hey honey! I’m so sorry about all this. I’ll go ahead and tell you, it is hard doing it on your own but it is doable. I was actually alot happier when I moved out of Jeremey’s house. It was hard leaving with a baby, but we just weren’t happy. Good luck with everything babe. And good luck at your ultrasound tomorrow. *Hugs* ♥
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This isn’t fair to you and it couldn’t come at a worse time. I’m sorry. 🙁 I don’t even know what to say. This crud with Pat and his mom needs to STOP. If you are unhappy (and you are) tell him PLAINLY and SIMPLY what you want, what you expect, and what you will not tolerate. AND THEN STICK WITH IT OR ELSE HE WILL THINK HE CAN GET AWAY WITH SAYING ‘YES’ BUT NOT DOING IT.
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You’ve threatened to leave him before, and then come back. Because of that, he thinks you will do the same this time. You need to put your foot down and stick with what you decide. I can imagine how hard it would be but it MUST be done. Your babies don’t deserve this stress his mother and him (him for allowing it!) are causing.
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I agree with what a couple of others have to say on this (I was thinking about this while reading your entry)… Pat needs to talk to his Mum about money, and to separate his finances! The last thing you need right now is extra stress, and this is obviously straining your relationship with him (understandably!) :/
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-hugs- sorry to hear about this 🙁 As hard as it will be, I think it is a good idea for you and the babies to get an apartment away from him… he is causing a whole lot of unneeded stress in your life and that is never good, but especially when you are carrying two precious babies…
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((HUGS)) I wish there was something I could do to help you and Pat get along better and to help him understand that in order to be in a healthy relationship with YOU, he needs to ditch his MOTHER. She is truly standing in the way of what could be a beautiful relationship. Good luck if you get an apartment. It’s probably the best thing for you and the babies. xoxoxo
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