Hormonal Me.

.Tic Tock.
10:49 p.m.

.Wearing.
White Capri’s [as crazy as I am…its been snowing all day too.], gray Old Navy shirt and white socks

.Munching.
Notta

.Sipping.
Mt. Dew

.Listening to.
“Boston” -Augustana

.Feeling.Happy.

.Wish upon a Star.
Our little baby made it past 5w 5d. Things are looking up for us!!

Good evening everyone. How are we all feeling on this chilly December night? I’m feeling alright. I was going to write an entry last night but my ever so loving fiancé password protected the computer when we had this freaky dude staying at our house and he’d go on the 2 computers that we have and look up porn. Anyways, he left it on password protected. I had to restart the computer, I made sure I saved the layout I wanted so I didn’t have to go and search for it again [this one] and it did its thing. Well it turned back on and there it was asking for the password. I had no clue what it was. The clue that he had was “the same old”. Yeah that helps me…not! So I went back downstairs did the laundry, the dishes, scrubbed my sink, scrubbed my counters, and cleaned my living room.

Oh what a subject to get into. My house. It is driving me nuts. Now seeing that there are 3 of us living there, there isn’t any reason why house work can’t get done daily. I make sure the living room is picked up so the dog doesn’t get into things, the bedroom and stuff like that. Pat tends to the office and his mother does the dishes. Well she’ll let them sit there for a WEEK!! Yeah, you read right, a fucking WEEK!! I’m not there but maybe 3-4 hours awake. The rest of the time I am either at school, napping because I’m just so damn tired, or here at my mom’s to watch the girls. She won’t do dishes until her days off. Which are Monday and Tuesday. I don’t know why they can’t be done daily. So as soon as I get home from school I’ll do them. We are all adults that live there…come on now. And the scrubbing of my sink and counters…oh boy!! His mother is into making candles which is all great and fine. But she gets wax everywhere. And sometimes she’s “too busy” to clean it all up so it dries and sticks. It’s all in my sink so before I could do the dishes I had to scrub the shit out because I am sick of my glasses, or bowls, or plates, or silverware covered in wax!! Plus is going down the drain which can clog it and cause expensive damage. We plan on fixing the basement and seeing there is a sink down there we’re going to place her down there until she leaves….which isn’t soon enough.

Don’t get me wrong I love my mother-in-law but she’s getting under my skin. Pat and I are trying to start our family and there she is…like a bad habit that you can’t kick. Like with the kitchen and her stripping it. She started it 2 days before Thanksgiving. Only half of it is still done. My kitchen looks like shit. Then we have the moveable island thinger and she has been moving all over the place scrapping up the floor. She moved the fridge in front of the side door and then placed the island right next to it so she could bring her computer downstairs. It was in her room and that’s where she stayed…in her room GLUED to the screen. But her reasoning to bringing it downstairs was so she could be more “sociable” and not “hibernate” in her room. So now she is going to be sitting in our dinning room glued to the damn thing….printing all this bullshit and buy bullshit that we can’t afford!! I don’t say much because it’ll turn out into all out war. I’m just trying to stay stress free so things stay on the good end of things. So I tell Pat and he talks to her.

Oh, I almost forgot, I have my computer at my mom’s and my desk. I plan on taking it to my house so I have my computer instead of having to wait to come to my mom’s to check my stuff. [Pats computer had to get a new mother board so he’s using the spare one and I REFUSE to use his mothers.] Anyways, she told me that she was going to bring her computer downstairs [like she did] and we were going to put mine in her room. Excuse me…I don’t think so. I am not going to hide in her room. I hate hiding in my room. I like being around people. Plus if it’s late at night I couldn’t do it because she goes to bed. So I am not going to just walk into her room. Nope sorry, not happening. I told Pat and he told his mother and she completely brushed it off like she did with the floor.

Another thing…[as you can all see…I need to vent about the mother-in-law before I go nuts and scream at her like I did the other night. I’ll get to that!!] We didn’t go grocery shopping the week of Thanksgiving when Pat got paid seeing we had to pay the mortgage and his mom didn’t go to work for a good chunk of time. Well we went and paid the car insurance last Monday. He pulled out $200, $116.60 for the insurance, and for a carton of cigarettes for his mother. We got the receipt and he already figured we’d be short but would have enough for the mortgage. NOPE!! The bank read that after the $200 got pulled out we only had $154 left. And Pat gets paid bi-weekly. So the last time he got paid was on Wednesday the 22nd and we’ve been going on that. [He gets paid again on the Friday the 8th. Plus he did overtime so it should be a good one!!] Anyways, we’ve been trying to hold off spending money so we have gas and stuff…well she can buy herself lunch to take to work DAILY and nothing for the rest of us, so Pat and I said fuck it, took the check book and went shopping for some food to tie us over for this week at Super Wal Mart. She’s also getting into this habit of not paying her bills. For example, we have

the All-In-One thing from Time Warner [Digital Cable, Digital Phone, and Road Runner] and that bill because she hasn’t paid it is over $500 dollars!! When I mentioned that we had to pay the car insurance last week seeing it was due on the 3rd she got pissy with me and was like “well, I guess the cable isn’t getting paid!” And did that pissy sigh thing.

Well now that I am doing ranting and raving about my lovely mother-in-law I can rant a little about Patrick. Things have gotten better since our argument we had on Friday. Oh man was it bad. He even yelled at me. It all started over gas for the car. I have a tendency to take something so small and blow it WAY out of proportion. Plus the fact that the hormones are running like crazy!! Gotta love being pregnant. Anyways, I ended up slamming the door in his face when we got to his work so I could drop him off. He through money in the car and left. I took the money, gave it to my mom and told her to give it to him and to tell him to kiss my ass. That whole night I was angry as hell. I went and picked him up and he told me to pull into the gas station. I told him no and that I was going to let the car die. We pull into the drive way, he got out and stormed to the house, and his mom and I were left behind. She tried giving me money and I said no. She said why and I told her the same thing, that I was “going to let the bitch die,” and that “I can’t afford it. Neither of us can,” and I walked in the house. Pat was there and told me to sit down and we had to talk. I was half way up the stairs and told him whatever he had to say to me he could tell me were I was. I told me that I was being a rude bitch and that I had no right to do what I did. So I told him that I was tired of having to remind him of simple daily things. He stormed out of the door, I got in my car and left. I drove around the city for about 5 minutes and cried so hard I couldn’t see the road. My head was throw out the most terrible things that could happen. Like I wouldn’t be able to get back into my house, or my stuff was going to be outside, so I went back. That was the first time ever I felt uncomfortable going into the house. I just sat in the car. Pat came outside, got in car and said he was sorry for yelling at me. I cried and hard. I told him that I was sorry and that there was something wrong with me. He said that everything is fine and that I am pregnant. He said to just let it go. I did and we went and got gas and FOOD!! Hehe. I also apologized to his mom for snapping at her.

Ah, the pregnant subject. The one someone is “getting sick of reading.” Hmm, well things have been alright. Breasts are tender, and very difficult to sleep. It’s a battle between getting my breasts comfortable enough so they don’t hurt or getting the heart burn to stop. Pat is more excited now than he was in the beginning. Last night we were laying in bed and he reached over me and rubbed my shoulder and said “my baby” and then he’d go to my belly and rub it and said “my baby” and repeated the process for a good 2 minutes. I thought it was so cute. And now when he asks how I’m doing he asks how his BABIES are doing. It’s so cute to see him all excited. Food has become my second best friend. Sleep is the first…along with the toilet…constantly having to pee. Haven’t thrown up due to morning sickness…just feel queasy. I did throw up however, last night while eating dinner. I was eating the Garlic Chicken Voila stuff and ended up chocking on a piece of chicken. Of course I do this shit when I’m home alone with no one there to help me if it got really bad. Anyways, I ended up coughing so hard I threw up and uncontrollably cried. Other than that things are as they should be. Doctors in 15 days.

Well I think that is it for the moment. Other than I also have 13 days left of school and then a long month off. Can’t wait. Anyways, I’m going to end it here. Until next time….toodles!!

♥ Amanda

.The Angel.