I stand alone…

Hey kids, I guess I would do an entry seeing that I have a little bit of time before mom and I go back cleaning. I hope you all enjoyed your holiday. It was so heartbreaking. Let me back track a little bit so you all can get the whole scoop.

First off, I have no car at the moment. My car died last week. Jessica‘s chorus concert was that night and it got to the school and to Phelps to drop Courtney off at scouts fine. I went to leave the school and I could feel that something was right. It kept kicking back. I got to the end of the drive way and then bam, dead. Thank god John was with me or else I would‘ve freaked the hell out. Anyways, B and John moved me car out of the way and I called Heidi mom to have her come and give me a jump. It got me enough power to get home. I pulled into my drive way and then bam, died again. It sat there for the night and then John came and jumped me so we could recharge the battery. I drove it down to McDonalds, got there good, went to the drive thru and I could feel it. It was kicking back and then I went and parked it and it wouldn‘t start again. I had to have Heidi mom come and jump me again to get me home. I haven‘t driven it sense.

Grandma made me cry. Seeing that I was stressing about my car and everything else I just broke down. Then I called Grandma to see if the dealership said something was wrong with my car. She gave me an attitude and said no. Got pissy with me to the point where I didn‘t want to go to my Aunt‘s on Christmas. I got off the phone and cried hysterically.

Did the Christmas thing. John gave me my Christmas present early. He got me a pink winter coat. I love it. He also got me “A Walk To Remember” on DVD, but I couldn‘t open it and watch it until Christmas. Anyways, John and I got mom a Christmas present as well. For some reason mom thought I was pregnant for awhile so John and I went and got her a pair of pink baby booty‘s and a card that says ‘For You, Grandma’. She seen that and died. So after she opened that I told her that wasn‘t her real gift. John and I got her the 6 disc collectors set of Garth Brooks. She loves it. Mom got me good stuff as well. She got me:

-Pink fuzzy purse
-Tinkerbell socks
-Pink fleece Tinkerbell pj pants
-Hot pink fleece bath robe
-Fiber optic pillow thing
-Pink sweater
-All my stocking stuff

Nothing major, but all the stuff I wanted. Dad got me a lap top that wasn‘t worth what he paid for it. He paid $200 for a piece of shit. It has Windows 98 PLUS on it and a 6 gigabyte hard drive. A little upset but it‘s the thought that counts. He‘s giving me the money for my car insurance payment so yeah.

We went to the family‘s house and I wanted nothing but to go home. I felt so unwanted. Grandma and my Aunt Jennifer didn‘t speak to me. Grandma didn‘t even LOOK at me. It was awful. It was like walking on pins and needles the entire time. But they didn‘t forget me. From the family I got:

-A coffee mug with candy in it
-Nail polish
-$50 worth of gift cards

Dad came over to Aunt Jeni‘s to get Brandon and I just wanted to get out. I told dad that when I went in I was going to go and light a fire under mom‘s ass so we could go home. I never thought that I would have hear those words escape my mouth in my life. Mom and dad said that I‘ll get use to it but I doubt it. For 18 year I was grandma‘s favorite and now I don‘t exist anymore. She was my everything. Now I just don‘t know what to do.

I applied to work for the same company John‘s dad works for at Pactiv. I will probably get into there. At least it‘s a job. I don‘t really want to work at Pactiv don‘t care if it‘s not working for Pactiv. It‘s just something about me being in a factory. But it‘s a job yeah know.

Hmm, what else? John and I are planning to go see “Fun With Dick and Jane,” I can’t wait.

Anyways, I think I am going to go for now. Nothing more to say. I‘ll write later. I also have to make a new diary layout. Christmas is over, so look for a new one in the near future. Until then, PLCG!!

-A*

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