My life is a haven for heartbreak and havoc

STATSTic-Toc: 7:26pm
Atire: Work clothes
Hair: Down and a little messy
Soundage: Nothing but he fan
Chit-Chat: Nobody
Mood Ring: Pissy
Pondering: Even my dreams hate me…

LYRICSShe says she’s no good with words but I’m worse
Barely stuttered out
“A joke of a romantic” or {just} stuck to my tongue
Weighed down with words too over-dramatic
Tonight it’s “it can’t get much worse”
Vs. “no one should ever feel like..”

I’m two quarters and a heart down
And I don’t want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I’ll write them
So you need them just to get by

Dance, Dance
We’re falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you’d love to lead
Dance, this is the way they’d love
If they knew how misery loved me

You always fold just before you’re found out
Drink up its last call
Last resort
But only the first mistake and I…

I’m two quarters and a heart down
And I don’t want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I’ll write them
So you need them just to get by

Why don’t you show me the little bit of spine
You’ve been saving for his mattress, love

Dance, Dance
We’re falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you’d love to lead
Dance, this is the way they’d love
If they knew how misery loved me

Why don’t you show me the little bit of spine
You’ve been saving for his mattress (mattress, mattress)
I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me

Dance, Dance
We’re falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you’d love to lead

Dance this is the way they’d love (way they’d love)
Dance this is the way they’d love (way they’d love)
Dance this is the way they’d love
If they knew how misery loved me

Dance, Dance
Dance, Dance
Dance, Dance
Dance, Dance

Misery Loves MeSo let‘s see…the funeral was, um, a funeral. It was nice…I guess…as nice as a funeral can get. The service at the Funeral Home got really boring. I am not a Jesus or a God follower and when the Minister kept making references to that I got very distracted and heavy eyed. When we left for the cemetery we, as in mom and I, were the last ones to get there. We got there and again, more Jesus and God stuff. After the Minister finished with that, the military people played “Taps” and did the folding of the flag and put the bullet shells in the flag. I lost it when that happened. My dad‘s wife pissed me off. She tried to show me up at a fucking funereal!! At the cemetery I wore my slippers because if I wore the heels anymore I wouldn‘t have been able to walk. She looked at my feet and gave me this really bad look. And she played it as the funeral was suppose to be all about her. I wanted to punch her. Other than that, it was ok.

Pete has been online al lot lately. He sent me a message the other day. Nothing major. But notice what he leaves out…

*-*Pete*-* (9/2/2005 8:24:19 PM): I’m not online as much anymore and my phone bills have been through the roof like you wouldn’t believe

He left out the part about Leslie. Apparently my replacement is sky rocketing all his bills. I had a dream about him the other night. It had the replacement in there. Something about how happy she was with him and everything. He wanted to kiss me, in my dream, but didn’t because of her. He ended up having to leave for 12 weeks and all she talked about was him and how good he was to her. Then I woke up. So I swear, even my dreams hate me.

Hmm, I think I am going to end it here…plcg!!

-A*