Please please please take away my anxiety *edited*

Please, please, please, take away my anxiety…

~Time~ 2:37am

~Thinking~ …drawing a blank

~Eating~ Notta

~Drinking~ Notta

~Feeling~ Tired

~Chatting~ No one

~Wearing~ Work clothes

~Hearing~ The TV

Hey everyone…how’s it going? Not too bad over this way. The last 2 days have been interesting. Well I have come to realize that I can not go to work one day without many guys hitting on me. It’s sick. A lot of my customers hit on me, co-workers, and friends of mine. Let’s see, today alone I had 5 people hit on me. Yesterday I had 3 people hit on me. Oye!! Leave me alone for a damn minute. Other than that, it’s been pretty good at work…I guess. Still nothing with Sean and I. Speaking of him, Mo stopped in last night. (A friend that hit on me.) I was telling him about John and I, and for comfort he was all huggin on me and stuff like that and I looked in the window and Sean just shot me this pissed off look. I went back into the store and I asked him what was wrong because he looked mad. He was like “Yep, irritated, you got it!!” I asked why and he said nothing. I looked at him and he was like “WHAT!!??” I said nothing. The drive home I was thinking about how he reacted. Before Mo stopped in we were all flirting and everything like we normally do. But then after Mo got there he got all weird like I did something wrong. Who knows. Tonight he came him and he was all drained. He told me last night that he had to install some stuff in a car so he wouldn’t be sleeping. We flirted a little. He tickled me once like he normally does. Messed up my hair as well. I wrapped my arms around him once but that was about it. When we went outside for a cigarette he sat on the edge on the side walk and I was by the door. He was just in a bad mood…which he already apologized to me for last night. I won’t get to see him again until…um…Sunday, I think. Him and I have off tomorrow and he comes back Friday. My last close shift is Wednesday and the rest are mid-days. Oh well.

Guess who came in today……DAN!! He sat and talked to me for 45 minutes. He said that he is going to get a hold of me either Thursday or Friday. He told me that Phil was also trying to get him his job back. Oh boy…how interesting would that be? Steve also came in today and talked to me for an hour. He restored my number and I restored his. He’s doing good, but it never fails, they both come in the same day. If Dan comes in first, then Steve comes later. Or if Steve comes first, Dan comes later. It was interesting.

I also seen John today. He looked so miserable and unhappy it’s unreal. I feel so bad. Did I do the right thing? I couldn’t look at him because the hurt is right there on his face. What did I do him? I just ripped his heart out, basically, and threw it away. God I am such a fucking bitch!!

Tomorrow I have off. I gotta take back my movies to Blockbuster. I got “The Pacifier” which was pretty good and “The Diary of a Mad Black Woman”. I LOVED that movie. It made me cry. When I get paid this week I am going to go and get it so I always have it.

I get my teeth pulled this week as well. I get my wisdom teeth pulled Thursday. Along with that they are going to be doing 2 fillings. So my mouth is just going to be lovin me!! Thank god I have Thursday off.

Hmm, what else? Oh, Dan was here this weekend. (Mom’s Dan) He was watching the girls. Well to be it correctly, he was spending time with his children like he should be doing. Anyways, Sunday, mom told me that Dean, the ex, came to the house drunk out of his mind and was pounding on my door at 8 in the morning. There was so much tension in my house that day it was sick. Dan got drunk and passed out in my backyard before 12 when I got up that day. He had beer bottles all over the backyard along with numerous towels. Mom was quite upset. Because of what happened that morning, he isn’t taking the girls this weekend. Mom and I are in a bind because we both have to work and Brandon has to be a dick and go back to his fucking fathers for the 3rd weekend in a row. *rolls eyes* It’s been a great week so far…as we you can tell.

Well I think that’s it at the moment. I have just written a bigger entry than I intended. I have to go into work tomorrow night to see Tracy. Love that girl to pieces. As of right now, she pl

ans on leaving the store when she goes out for maternity leave. I am gonna miss her mad much…but that’s for a little while. Anyways, night guys!! PLCG!!

-A*

*Edited @ 1:33pm*

Well after I wrote this I went to my room and I sent a text message to Pete. I ended up dreaming about him this morning. I miss him terribly, but I think the thing I miss the most is compassion. I asked him to call me this evening so we’ll see what happens. I hope he calls because if he does I work on giving myself a purpose and hopefully not feel like I do.

-A*